Emison - Broken Reunion
by emisoninsweetparis
Summary: This story takes place 3 years after 7x20. Alison miscarried the twins, causing their relationship to slowly fall apart. A few months later, Emily broke off their engagement after receiving a job offer at Stanford. She took the coaching position and the two haven't spoken since… What will happen when Emily is suddenly called back to Rosewood where she left her fiance years ago?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **Emily**

I had been sitting in the same fetal position for two hours now, biting furiously at my nails and rocking slightly. My phone sat next to me, face up, and I couldn't help but stare at it as the hours ticked by, slowly, painfully. I knew my girlfriend would soon walk through that door, and I'd have to rehash everything I just went through. The call, the news, the actions I'd have to take. I didn't want to break down again. Even after two hours of waiting, I didn't have my speech ready when I heard the fumbling of keys in the lock on the front door. Paige stumbled inside with bags of groceries in her hands, throwing them down quickly. I didn't make a sound.

"Em, you ok?" Her voice was laced with concern, which didn't surprise me. She was used to getting an animated welcome whenever she got home. I sighed before starting to speak.

"My mom's in the hospital. They said she had a stroke." I could already feel tears starting to sting the back of my eyes but I kept my gaze trained on the floor, my entire body starting to shake. Paige rushed over to the couch I was perched on, wrapping her arms around me as fast as she could.

"Oh my god Em I'm so sorry," she cooed, stroking my hair. Tears silently slid down my cheeks, but I wasn't crying for my mother.

"Paige… I have to go back to Rosewood. Alone." I managed to get the words out in a calm, single phrase, not daring to look at her. She seemed to flinch as I said the words, her body tensing against mine. After I took the job at Stanford almost three years ago, I knew it wouldn't be long before I ran into Paige. When we finally began to rekindle our relationship, all she wanted to ask me about was Alison, the twins, and Rosewood. I had built walls around those times of my life and refused to let her in. It became the one thing we never talked about. I knew that going to Rosewood would break something in her. She only seemed to trust me when I was outside the small town, and was too afraid to ask me questions anymore. I knew that was my fault, but I couldn't. I hated myself for what happened after the twins, and didn't want to ruin any more relationships with my mess.

"No, you don't. I'll come with you…" Paige looked at me intently, lifting my chin so that she could lock her eyes with mine. "You know that I would never leave you when you're going through something like this, even if it means facing that hell of a town." Her last words were laced with venom, which I saw her instantly regret as I winced a little bit. How could I tell her that I didn't _want_ her to go with me? That I needed my life in Rosewood to be completely separate? That I couldn't let her in to all parts of my life? A pang of guilt hit me as I realized how little Paige knew about my life in between high school graduation and Stanford.

"Paige, it's not that… I just need to do this on my own. I have some loose ends I need to tie up…" she cut me off before I could finish.

"Let me guess, Alison is one of those loose ends." I couldn't help but clench the couch a bit harder, my stomach flipping upside down at the mention of her name. I composed myself quickly before speaking.

"No. I need to pack up my mom's things and make sure her will is in order. They don't think she will live more than a month, and is for sure stuck on major life support. But thanks for doubting me," I snapped, my face contorted with anger… at least, a good portrayal of anger. Before I could stop myself, I was lying to my girlfriend again; "I promise, I have no feelings for her. I'm the one that left." I cringed internally at the words that had just left my mouth, knowing how inaccurate they were. I would _have_ to see Alison, the town was too small _not_ to see her. And my heart skipped a beat every time I thought about it. Her light blonde hair that fell effortlessly around her head, framing her face perfectly. Her soft yet ice cold eyes that lit a fire inside me. I woke up from my day dream when Paige nudged me. Hard.

"Em, I'm sorry. But don't space out on me right now. Just let me come with you, I can help."

"No, this is final. And I have to go, my cab will be here any minute." I stood and lightly kissed my girlfriend on the forehead, purely as a formality. I couldn't get Ali off my mind. Which was crazy. I left her because I was afraid. Because I was lost and broken, and didn't know how to cope. Paige didn't know that. All she knew were the lies I told her, about how I realized I was in the wrong relationship. It wasn't true, and I knew it never would be. Paige eyes were cast to the floor when I walked to the front door of our 4th floor apartment, grabbing the bags that were set up carefully by the doormat. Paige looked back at me with pain in her eyes… she knew I wasn't telling her everything but I couldn't bear to hurt her anymore than I already had. So I stepped out the door, dragging my bags behind me, and walked out of the apartment that never felt like home.

 **Alison**

I groaned as I woke to a furious banging on my front door, a knock so forceful it shook the floors. "I'm coming!" I yelled groggily, pushing myself off the couch and rushing to the door. When I pulled it open, I saw Spencer panting in front of me, a look of panic clouding her features. She looked as pale as a ghost and out of breath from the flurry of punches she just threw at my door.

"Spence, what's wrong? Jesus, you look like you just got hit by a train." I ushered her inside, already missing the comfort of my couch and the lull of the TV.

"Ali, there's been… well… it's Emily's mom. She had a stroke." Spencer was fidgeting with her hands and had her eyes glued to the floor, not daring to look at me. She knew what affect her name had on me. After Emily left, I was a wreck. I had lost my two twin girls and the love of my life in the span of six months, and I drowned myself in alcohol, refusing to leave my house. Spencer and Aria, my only close friends left in Rosewood, spent months piecing me back together again, slowly and carefully.

"I… when did this happen?" I croaked, trying to keep my mind off the gorgeous girl I once loved.

"Early this morning? Late last night? I don't know for sure, some time in the last twelve hours. But I thought you should know. Emily will be back in town tonight I'm sure, so if you want to see Pam, you'd better go today." Spencer seemed more flustered than usual, which touched me a bit, knowing how much she had grown to care about me. After everything we had been through, I never expected to call Aria and Spencer my best friends. After all that I had done to them, they were the last people I expected to latch on to. But they had been so amazing to me these past three years, and I knew Spencer was right. I had to visit Pam.

"Yeah, ok. Can you come with me?" I practically begged, a slight hint of fear floating to the surface.

"I really wish I could, but Toby already booked a time for us to tour another venue for the wedding. I would totally skip, but he says they're full for the next couple months. Call Aria, I'm sure she's free." Spencer said, her words tumbling out quickly. "I really have to go, but I wanted to make sure you heard it from me and weren't surprised if you saw Emily around." She pulled me in for a tight hug before bounding out the door faster than she came in it, making me chuckle to myself. Even in the darkest situations, Spencer had such a joy about her, one that Toby brought out even more. Their engagement was amazing, but not unexpected, news to us a few months ago. Hanna even came in from New York with Caleb to celebrate, bringing their 2 year old daughter Macy with them. The only one that didn't know was Emily. Ever since our break up, the girls seemed to ice her out… everyone except Hanna that is. Spencer and Aria stood by my side like guard dogs, furious at Emily for leaving. Before I could get lost in thought, Jacob wandered out of our shared master bedroom and smiled at me, his eyes still cloudy from his deep sleep.

"Babe, why are you up so early? And why were you on the couch last night?" He came over to me and hugged me from behind, his scent filling my lungs. I smiled and leaned back against him.

"I fell asleep watching TV again, I'm sorry. You know I would've rather been in bed with you." I chirped, turning my head to give him a light kiss on the lips. He smiled down at me and spun me around before heading off to the kitchen.

"Was Spencer here? I thought I heard her voice." He yelled from across the house, opening the fridge in search of his favorite morning juice blend.

"Yeah, apparently Pam Fields had a heart attack last night and is in the ICU." I said, trying to remain calm. Jacob, my boyfriend for the past year, didn't know much about Emily. He knew that we dated for a while, but didn't know about the twins or the engagement. I thought it would be better to keep that time in my life to myself. To him, Pam Fields was just a neighbor and the mom of an ex-girlfriend, not an ex-fiance.

"Wow, that's awful. Are you planning on going to visit her?" He asked, looking at me from the breakfast bar.

"Yeah, I was just about to go call Aria and shower. Call you later?" I asked him, walking over and putting my hand on his arm. I knew he would be long gone by the time I finished showering. He smiled at me and pressed his lips against mine, pulling away only to look at me.

"Of course. I love you, Alison." I smiled and headed off to shower, shooting Aria a quick text.

 _Hey, I really need you to come with me to visit Pam in the hospital. I can't bring Jacob and I don't want to go alone. Meet at your place in 20?_

I hopped in the shower before I could get a response, trying to take a few minutes to think before my full panic attack came on. Emily, my Emily, was coming back to Rosewood for the first time in three years. After the twins, Emily became so distant from me. She was so depressed and couldn't get off the couch half the time, causing her to lose her coaching position at Rosewood High. I thought maybe I could pull her out of it, remind her of what life had to offer. But she had other plans. The memory burned hot in my mind.

" _Emily, it's been two months and you haven't left this house in weeks. You lost your job and seem to have forgotten that you share this house with someone. What is going on?" I said as calmly as I could. I sat next to her on the couch, trying to wrap my arms around her, but she tensed at my touch, scooting away from me. "You can't ignore me forever, and this is no way to be starting a life together." She looked up at me with sad, empty eyes, eyes that screamed for help but refused it at the same time._

" _We were supposed to start our life with two twin girls. Alison, I can't help but feel trapped. We rushed into this relationship because you were pregnant, and now that they're gone…" I could feel her body start to tremble and it killed me, it killed me knowing that she was hurting so much and wouldn't let me in._

" _Em, baby…" I tried to pull her close but she froze again, pushing me away this time. "Why are you doing this?" My heart was breaking into a million pieces as she shut me out, her eyes glossy and emotionless. This wasn't the Emily I had known for years, and it surely wasn't the Emily I proposed to almost 6 months ago._

" _I can't look at you without thinking of them, Ali. The girls. The two baby girls that we were supposed to raise. I know their conception wasn't ideal but it didn't matter. They were mine, they were yours, and they tied us together. We don't have that now." I couldn't breathe and it felt as if the whole world had stopped. Suddenly, Emily didn't even seem to care that we were engaged or that we loved each other. All she could see was the past and the ways I had walked out on her before. Without the kids, she thought she'd lose me all over again._

" _Listen, Ali. I got an offer to go to Stanford and coach. I'm going to take the job. And I don't want you to come with me." Her words cut deep into my soul as I watched her stand and climb the stairs. I was frozen, hot, silent tears rolling down my face. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. She had promised to stay by my side for the rest of our lives. But I didn't chase after her. I sat there, my entire world falling to pieces, and I let her walk away from me. I thought, this is what it must of felt like for me to walk away from her. But this time, I knew there was no going back. I was nothing to Emily anymore, nothing more than a reminder of what we had lost. And when she walked out the door the next day, I didn't fight to stop her._

I found myself crying as I finished my shower, the memory of Emily pouring salt in an open wound. Every time I heard her name, all I could think about was her long wavy hair flowing behind her as she walked away from me and all the things we had planned for our life. The honeymoon to Paris, the Sunday night dinners with Pam, the Christmas decorations we were going to get for the house, all of it. All the little things we planned that made my heart soar meant nothing to her. Before another round of tears could leave my already puffy eyes, my phone buzzed on the bathroom sink.

 _Yeah Ali, I'll leave here in 5, just need to finish the dishes and make sure Ezra's fever isn't too high._

I sighed in relief as Aria's text came through, quickly pulling on my favorite blue dress and a nice pair of flats. Waves of sadness kept washing over me as I got ready, realizing that this might be the last time I see Pam. More importantly, I wasn't ready to see Emily again, at least that's what I told myself. But if I were to see her, I know it wouldn't be hard for me to pull her into my arms and never let her go. If only she knew just how much I loved her, and just how much it hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Emily**

My flight landed abruptly, waking me up from a slightly drug induced sleep. I reached my arms high above my head, rolling my head in a circle to loosen up my neck. Before I could mentally prepare myself, I was stepping out in the all too familiar Philadelphia airport, the musty scent of rain settling around me. As I turned my phone off airplane mode, two texts popped up.

 _Hey Em, I'm sorry about earlier. I know this must be so hard for you and I want you to know that you always have me. I love you and hope all goes well with your mother._

The timestamp on the message let me know that Paige texted me right after my plane took off, clearly regretting the way we left things. I didn't have the words to say to her yet, so I simply closed her message and opened up another.

 _Emily! Hi! I heard you were heading back to Rosewood to see your mom, so I thought I'd join you! I know you're landing tonight, and since I won't be there until tomorrow, I'm hoping, more like praying, that you'll stay away from her. Love ya, see you soon! xoxo_

I smiled to myself after reading my best friend's text, excited to see her again. It had been too long since I had seen Hanna last. After all, a trip to New York from California wasn't that easy. I felt my stomach tighten as I read the text once more. _Stay away from her…_ I knew exactly what Hanna meant. And she was right, I couldn't possibly go to see Ali. I knew that if I did, my emotions would spill, and I couldn't bear to hurt her, not again. I regretted everything. That day was so clear in my head, and I knew that I could never forgive myself.

" _Why are you doing this?" Ali asked, her eyes so sad and longing. She reached for me but I pushed her away, not wanting to hurt her more than I was about to have to. I couldn't face it, I couldn't face_ us. _Without the twins, it felt as if I was losing her again. It felt as if everything that brought us together had disappeared, everything that was going to keep us together had left us to fall apart. I knew I was being dramatic, but all my fears and despairs had welled up inside me and I couldn't bear it anymore. I didn't want to drag her with me down the dark, dangerous hole I was falling into._

" _Listen, Ali. I got an offer to go to Stanford and coach. I'm going to take the job. And I don't want you to come with me." The minute I said the words I knew that I'd regret them, but I forced myself to stand, walking up the stairs and leaving my beautiful fiance sitting on the couch alone. My heart had broken into a million more tiny fragments that day, all because of my stupid self-destruction. But I knew this was for the best. I couldn't let her self-destruct because of me._

 _I could hear her sobs that night from the first floor as I tried to get some sleep on the couch. I felt her soul being crushed every second I didn't run upstairs and pull her into my arms, every moment I spent away from her when she needed me most. And I so wished I could jump into our bed and kiss her, run my hands through her beautiful blonde hair, and hold her tight. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't stand the sight of her breaking in my arms when she knew I had to leave. And it was true. I had to leave. I couldn't bear to stay in this town any longer, not when so many of the people I had loved died in it. Maya, my father, the twins… it was too much for me. Everything felt different, and nothing felt like home. It left me distracted and depressed, and in my darkest moments, I didn't want to let Ali in. I wanted to push her out._

 _I knew that my love for her hadn't changed when I decided to walk out the door the next morning. With my bags all packed, I set my grandmother's ring on the kitchen counter and headed for the entrance, looking back to see Alison watching me with red, puffy eyes. But she didn't say a word. She was too broken to bring her eyes to mine and it killed me. All I wanted in that moment was to take it all back, but I knew I couldn't stay here. I knew that she was the only thing holding me here. I knew that I loved her with all my heart, even if it was against my will. I knew that staying would only make me hurt more. And most of all, I knew that if I kept on loving her, it would kill me._

I shook away the memory, my eyes burning as I held back tears. I was so wrong, about all of it, and I knew loving her wasn't what was killing me now. It was not being able to admit that I loved her. What a turn of events.

x-x-x-x

When I finally arrived in Rosewood about an hour later, I couldn't catch my breath. I stepped out of the car and nearly fainted at the familiarity of it all. The shops, the streets, the small trees that bloomed too slow and died too quickly. I leaned up against the side of the Brew's newly-painted siding to compose myself.

"Emily Fields?" I heard a sharp voice shout from across the street. I knew who it was before looking up, a small, nervous smile spreading across my lips.

"Hi, Spencer." I answered timidly. "Long time no see. How have you been?" I asked, trying to sound confident and not at all scared.

"Great, thanks for asking. I heard about your mom… I'm so sorry." She said, a little flatly. She seemed to be holding back anger, and I knew why.

"Yeah, thanks. I came back to get her things in order… the house, the will… doctors say she won't live to see the end of the month." I started to play with the ends of my hair, tears fighting to fall down my cheeks as I held them back, staring at the concrete. "But please, don't throw any pity my way. Just say what you really came to say to me." My voice grew a bit irritated as I looked back up at her. She seemed a bit shocked.

"Emily, I really am sorry about Pam. I just… you broke Alison's heart, something I never thought you would do. She's been a mess, and you've been absent from all of our lives. I know you have to be here right now, but I hope you finish up as quickly as you can. I don't think you belong here anymore." She said the last sentence with such a soft tone I almost couldn't hear it, and while I knew she was right, it broke me a bit more inside. I simply nodded and pushed myself off the side of the Brew, starting to walk towards my house.

"Emily…" I turned to look at Spencer one last time, the hurt evident in my eyes. "Take care of yourself." She pivoted on her right foot and continued walking, not turning to look back at me. My heart sank further into my stomach as quickened my pace, eyes glued to the ground all the way home.

The house was much cozier than I remembered it. It felt so warm and inviting, and I never remembered feeling that way when I actually lived here. Everything looked so neat, and I could tell no one had been here in days. I walked quietly to my old room, everything still exactly as I left it. I smiled at the sight, a memory of Alison and I quickly floating to the surface.

" _You're really gonna leave all of this behind?" the blonde said to me, her eyes laced with concern. She traced her finger over my metal bed frame, white wooden dresser, and the small knick-knacks I left sitting on it._

" _This is all my past, and I don't think I want to be reminded of it anymore," I replied, smiling at her. "It reminds me of a time when we were so unsure of each other, of a time when I couldn't do this…" I trailed off and brought my hands to the sides of her face, pulling her close for a soft, passionate kiss. She kissed back almost instantly, wrapping her arms around my neck. I was about to pull away when I could tell Ali had other plans, her hands starting to slide up my shirt, causing me to shiver. I moved my hands to her waist and backed up until my legs hit the side of the bed, pulling her down on top of me. I giggled as we kissed, causing her to pull away and look at me._

" _What's so funny?"_

" _Nothing," I smiled. "I just love you." She simply smiled back at me and held my gaze as she lifted her shirt above her head, tossing it to the side and crashing back down on me to reconnect our lips. I let a soft moan leave my mouth as I moved my hands gently up and down her back. She was everything, and I loved her more that day than ever._

The memory soon became too intense as I pushed it away, snapping back to the present. The only things I took from the room that day was the snowglobe Ali gave me before her disappearance and a few old Rosewood t-shirts I thought would make good pajamas. I could tell my mother hadn't touched this room at all, not wanting to truly let go of her little girl.

I walked over to the window seat and sat down, my head spinning. Even in my own bedroom, in my own house, I could smell her warm vanilla scent. I could see her piercing blue eyes and heart shaped lips, pulled up in a smirk as they always were. I placed my head in my hands and closed my eyes. _Being back in this town was messing with my head_ , I thought, _you shouldn't even be thinking about her._ But Alison was all that I _could_ think about. Even with my mother in the hospital and my relationship on the rocks, it was just her. Only her. And I knew I had to see her before anyone else.

 **Alison**

I lightly knocked on the door to the large hospital room, a small beeping sound echoing through the door. Aria had her hand on my arm as I stepped inside, a pale and weak Pam Fields laying before me. I quickly pulled up a chair next to her and took her hand.

"Hi Pam…" I said wearily. The doctors had warned us that she may not be able to speak or understand language yet, and because of the tumor in her brain, didn't have too long to live. It broke my heart because I knew Emily was hurting, more than ever, and I wasn't the one she would turn to anymore.

"It's Alison… I wanted to come and give you some company, see how you were doing…" I felt as if I was talking to a brick wall. But slowly, she reached for my hand and brought it to her lips, giving it a small kiss and locking her gaze with mine. Her brown eyes were just like Emily's, making me want to run out of the room and stay there forever at the same time. I smiled at her.

"T-t-t-than-k y-y-y-o-u." She stuttered shakily. I could tell it was hard for her by the concentration on her face and how her brows knit together as she thought. Again, all I thought of was Emily, and how her face furrowed in the same way when she was deep in thought. I always loved that face. It was adorable.

"A-Ali…" she continued, looking at me slowly. "B-b-br-bring h-h-her h-h-ho-home." It took every cell in my body not to drop her hand and burst into tears. Here I was, sitting at the deathbed of my ex-fiance's mother, and with her limited vocabulary, she found a way to tell me what she really wanted; a reconciliation. Above all else, Pam wanted me to bring Emily home. All I could do was smile at her and kiss her hand as she had mine.

"I'll try my best, Pam," I squeaked. "I'm sure she will be here to see you soon. I love you," I stated, knowing that this may be the last time I get to see her. She gives me a soft smile as I relinquish her hand, slipping out of the room and closing the door. Aria quickly stood from the waiting room chair she had dozed off in and rushed to my side.

"Ali, how is she? More importantly, how are you?" She looked almost as nervous as I was, which I found endearing.

"She's not great. She can barely speak and takes a long time to fully comprehend everything. I just can't help but think about how this must be for Em- Emily." I quickly corrected myself, not allowing myself to use her nickname. We weren't friends and we certainly were nowhere close to nickname territory. Aria didn't seem to notice my slip up.

"I'm more worried about you right now…"

"Aria, I'm fine, I promise. I'm glad I came to see her though… and thank you, for coming with me. I wouldn't have been able to get past those front doors without you." I gave her a tight hug and started to walk out of the hospital, hoping Jacob wouldn't be home when I got there.

x-x-x-x

I breathed a quick sigh of relief when I opened the door to an empty house. The second I had changed into my pajamas I broke down, falling to the floor of my bedroom sobbing. I was crying for so many reasons… for Pam and the end of her life, for Jacob and our too easy relationship, but most of all, for Emily. Seeing Pam again made me realize just how much I missed her. I missed her smile and the way her eyes would light up every time she saw me. I missed the way she would cradle my head when we kissed, as if it was made of glass and she didn't want anything to break it. I missed how comfortable I was at her side and how she made me feel safe. I missed everything about her.

I told myself a year ago that I was fine, I was done crying over the beautiful brunette that left me. To prove to myself that I was over her, I brought Jacob into my mess of a life. He was perfect. He had a stable job as a personal trainer, was always kind to me, loved me entirely, and only wanted to make me happy. But I know he isn't the one. There's no spark, no passion, just friendship. His kiss doesn't send electricity through my body and his eyes don't make me melt. When he holds me I don't feel at home and when he touches me I don't fall in love with him all over again. The only person that ever made me feel that way was Emily.

After what seemed like an eternity on the floor, I pushed myself to my feet, my vision blurry from all the tears. I got myself to the kitchen and poured a large glass of red wine for myself, settling on the couch as soon as I had filled my glass to the brim. But as I reached for the remote, I saw her. I couldn't miss the wavy mermaid hair and long, tan legs that walked confidently down the street. I jumped off the couch faster than I ever had to keep watching her. She was more beautiful than ever, and had that cute pep in her step back. Her hair seemed longer than I remembered, but even without seeing her face I knew she was more beautiful than I remembered too. And then I saw where she was going. Pam's words rang in my ears as I carefully set my glass of wine on the counter and bolted for my room, pulling on that same blue dress and flats. I applied just enough makeup to cover up the breakdown I just had, and before I could stop myself, I ran out the door and down the street, not stopping until I reached her front door.

My breath caught in my throat as I tried to calm down. My heart was racing and I knew I looked like a trainwreck. But once again, impulse took over as I reached up and knocked on the pale door that I remembered so well. After a few moments of silence, I turned to go, realizing how big of a mistake this really was. But I didn't get far before I heard the familiar squeak of the door, causing me to whip my whole body around. Her eyes were wide and I was right, she was more beautiful than ever.

"A-Alison…?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for your kind reviews and patience! I promise I am trying to get these chapters uploaded as I finish them, I've just had a crazy week. I will upload as soon and as often as I can, but bear with me, I still have a very busy schedule. Keep leaving your reviews and enjoy chapter three!**

 **A few people in the comments have been confused on this, so just to clarify, Emily did not leave the twins, _Alison had a miscarriage, s_ o the twins were never born. That's going to be crucial in the next couple chapters, so just wanted you all to know!**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Emily**

My knees buckled beneath me as opened the door and saw her blonde locks whip the sides of her face as she turned. I gasped as her ice blue eyes pierced my own, my heart feeling like it weighed 10 extra pounds.

"A-Alison…?" I stammered, my head spinning. She didn't move from the walkway, her body tense and her eyes wide. For a second, I didn't know how to approach her. My initial reaction was to rush down the steps and throw my arms around her, but I stopped myself, instead deciding to slowly approach her. "What… what are you doing here?" I said, my voice strained and cracking.

"I uh.. I heard about your mom… I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry Em… Emily." I heard her stammer as she stopped herself from using my old nickname, and it made me smile slightly. "I went and visited her, and I just had to see you… see that you were ok." Her eyes were trained on the ground and I could tell that the words had just slipped from her mouth and were not at all what she originally planned to tell me.

"You… went and visited her? That was so sweet of you, you didn't have to…"

"I did. Have to, I mean. I couldn't let another person in my life slip away before I had the chance to say goodbye." Her voice was sharp and pointed, the tears building up in her eyes as she finished her sentence. It hurt to see her like this, knowing that I was the cause of her pain.

"Alison…" I stepped forward, trying to close the distance between us. But she stepped back, finally looking up at me.

"I just… had to see that you were doing well. Had to make sure I expressed how sorry I was… about your mom." She nodded and turned to leave, which hurt more than it should have three years later.

"Alison, wait," I stammered, trying to get her to stop, to look at me and let me explain. But she just turned her head over her shoulder and gave me a soft, sad smile before walking down the street and out of sight.

I was shaking and on the verge of tears when she had fully left my line of sight, stumbling back to my front steps and plopping down. Silent tears began to cascade down my cheeks as I tried to push her out of my thoughts, only bringing her sad features up more and more in my mind's eye. I couldn't stop thinking about how defeated and utterly lost she looked, as if nothing in her life made sense. And I knew the feeling. It was the same feeling that pushed me out her front door three years ago. My thoughts were interrupted by a call from Paige, making my heart race out of nerves. She couldn't hear me like this, because I knew what she would think. Even if she was right, I couldn't let her know how broken I was over another woman. I cleared my throat and hastily answered the call.

"Hi, Paige, what's up?" I tried to sound calm, as if the past 10 minutes were uneventful.

"Hey, babe. How are you?" She sounded concerned, making want to smash my phone on the concrete in front of me. There was only one girl I wanted to be concerned for me at that moment, making my hate myself for hurting yet _another_ woman in my life.

"I'm uh… fine I guess. It's just been hard. I'm at my house right now, trying to pack up some of my stuff. I think…" I stuttered, not ready to break the news. "I think I'm going to be here longer than we planned." The silence on the other end was devastating.

"Em, I thought we talked about this. I should be there with you if it's going to be that long."

"I know, I know, but this is hard enough as it is, and I don't want to drag you into it."

"Are you kidding me Emily? We're dating, I'm automatically in it. You know what, I can't deal with this right now. Call me when you know what you want." The line cut before I could protest, and this time, I really did throw my phone. Hard. The sound of glass shattering on the concrete rang in my ears as my tears spilled over my cheeks once again, my sobs loud and audible now. I didn't care. I sat on the front porch of my mother's house and sobbed, my head buried in my hands. The neighbors could come and yell at me, Spencer and Aria could come lecture me about how horrible I was, it didn't matter. I had successfully ruined two relationships with people I loved and there was nothing I could do to take it back.

 **Alison**

The second I rounded the corner I stopped, placing my hands on my knees and starting to hyperventilate. Hot, salty tears started to spill from my eyes as I sucked in air quickly, trying to keep moving and stay silent so Emily wouldn't hear. I didn't want to go home, because I knew Jacob would be there at this point. I didn't want to go to Spencer or Aria's because I'd have to talk. I just wanted to stay there on the sidewalk where no one would ask me how I was feeling or why I was upset or how I was doing. I couldn't explain to people what it felt like, seeing Emily. I told myself and everyone else that I was over her, but was I? I knew the answer, but couldn't bring myself to say it, to anyone. Especially with Jacob in my life. He loved me so much, but I… I knew my feelings weren't near as genuine as they should be.

I heard Emily's voice and pulled myself together, trying to hold back my sobs. What if she heard me? She'd probably think I was pathetic, not moving on after all these years. Or maybe she would understand after all my disappearance put her through. Whatever her reaction, I couldn't let her see me like this. My worries stopped when I heard a full sentence.

"Hi, Paige, what's up?" Her voice sounded wary and tight, as if she was holding back emotion, but it didn't take much for me to realize what was going on. Emily left me, moved to California, and got back with _Paige_. That was enough for me to finally stand up straight and wipe away my tears. Sadness turned to anger so quickly that I could feel my cheeks burning in response. I whipped my body around and started marching back to her house to give her a piece of my mind when the sound of broken glass and metal echoed from her yard and onto the street. I stopped dead in my tracks.

Peeking around the corner that was lined with trees, I saw Emily sitting on her porch, her face covered by her hands, her whole body shaking as she cried. Before I could stop them, my legs began to move, carrying me back to that fateful house. As I approached, I saw what appeared to be the remnants of Emily's phone scattered on the concrete. I stepped carefully over to her and sat down beside her, not saying a word. The creaking of the wood caused her to look up in shock, her eyes red and puffy.

"W-what are you…"

"I heard glass shattering, and when I saw you out here, I figured you wouldn't want people coming up and bothering you. I knew no one would do that if I was here." I shrugged as I cut her sentence short, my voice calm and emotionless. The burst of anger I felt earlier had mellowed me out, thankfully. I knew my reason for being here was much more than just looking out for a friend. I was hurt, angry, and concerned. I wanted answers.

"You didn't have to do that… I don't care what people in this town think of me. I already burned that bridge." Her big, brown eyes were still filled with tears and were trained on her feet, giving away how nervous she was. I shrugged again.

"Well, I know I wouldn't want people bothering me. Besides, shattered glass isn't exactly a yard decoration." I gave her a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work. "So… do you wanna tell me _why_ your phone is smashed to bits?"

"Listen, Alison, I'm really not in the mood to talk right now, especially not to you."

I scoffed. "Really, Emily? I'm not the one who left, so you have no right to be hostile towards me. I'm just trying to help here." She sighed before answering.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just so tired of screwing good things in my life up." I stayed silent, trying hard to keep my emotions in check. Now was not the time to ask the millions of questions I had for her.

We sat in silence for a while, both lost in our thoughts, but I didn't mind. Just being there next to her was surreal. She was the first to break the silence.

"To answer your question, I don't honestly know why I smashed my phone." I turned to see her looking back at me, dead in the eye, looking vulnerable and sad. It made my heart swell. "I was talking with… someone… and I just was tired of letting them down. Letting everyone down who trusts me. I mean, I only see my mom during the holidays and now I only have a month. I take people for granted and it comes back to haunt me." Our eyes were locked in that moment, and the gravity between us growing. I felt her coming closer, her eyes fluttering closed, and just as she laid a soft kiss on my lips, I jumped back.

"Emily… I heard you on the phone. You're dating Paige. Besides I can't.. I…" She looks at me with remorse and guilt clouding her features.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean… I was just caught up in my emotions, I…" She was panicking now, starting to stand. I stood too, grabbing her hand before she could open the front door. She whipped around to face me with a look of confusion.

"Hey, it's fine, really… let's just clean up this mess of glass and then I'll leave." I gave a reassuring smile and dropped her hand. "Now, grab me a broom and some sort of plate or tray. This won't take long." She smiled back at me and nodded, slipping inside her house and leaving the door wide open. I stood awkwardly on the porch, waiting for her to return, not wanting to make things worse by going inside.

She returned quickly, handing me the broom and pan and slipping gloves on her hands.

"Ok, I'll get the bigger pieces and you get the glass," she stated, bending over and beginning to comb through the remains. I tried not to focus on her legs in those tight jeans as I brushed the shards of glass away, aiming to finish as as quickly as possible.

"Do you still have the same number?" I looked up at her, confused.

"Yeah, why?"

"I uh, know you probably have a lot of questions, and since I'll be here for another month or two, thought we could talk to try to make this as easy as possible…" I smiled.

"Yeah, that sounds like the best way to do things. But you do realize you don't have a phone now, right?" She chuckled lightly.

"I'm going to get a new one after I visit my mom." I handed her the pan after dumping the glass in the trash can on the curb and set the broom next to the door.

"I'll text you?"

"Yeah." I gave her a curt smile and started to walk away from her house again, not looking back this time. I knew her eyes were trained on me as I walked farther away, only stopping when I heard her call my name. I turned around slowly, cursing under my breath. I had controlled my emotions so well until now, and I didn't think I could do it for much longer.

"Thanks," she said. I was confused.

"...For what?"

"Giving me a chance when I definitely don't deserve it."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Emily**

In the past three years, I have hated myself for many things. Today, I added a few more incidents to my list. Number one; smashing my iPhone. Why did I think that was a smart idea? Number two; spilling some of my emotions to Alison. Yes, I was planning on doing that at some point, but why did I have to go and do it on the first day I saw her again? And last but definitely not least, number three; I kissed her. I kissed her! What the actual fuck was I thinking? I wanted to slam my head into the wall until I couldn't think anymore. I left her three years ago and now I was the one crying at her feet and going for the kiss. You know what they say, old habits die hard. And that's just what Alison was. A habit. A drug. An addiction. The second I stepped back in Rosewood I could feel it. The gravity. It was like the forces of nature pulled us to each other, making it nearly impossible to stay away. At least, that's how I liked to justify it. The worst part is, I know deep down that what Paige and I have is forced. That our relationship is a way for me to ignore the things that I've done. Dating Paige has given me the chance to forget about my past. That's why I smashed that stupid, 800 dollar phone. I didn't want to tell her that I was in love with someone else. I wasn't ready to admit that she was the rebound and the mask.

When Alison finally left, I went back inside and started to pack. I knew that my mother would be coming home at some point, and I wanted it to be clean for her, even if it was for such a short period of time. Besides, packing up the house now would be easier than after she… passed. I packed up my room, the basement, and a lot of the things in the kitchen and dining room. It was fairly easy to do, considering my thoughts were so preoccupied. I left her bedroom, living room, and all her decor untouched. I wanted her to feel at home for all of the time she had left.

I thought a lot about Alison. About how, after all this time and after all I had done to her, she could still comfort me like no one else. How she could sit beside me and let me cry to her when I knew it killed her. How, after all that I put her through, she could smile at me like I was the only girl in the world. But I also felt it, the hesitation. I couldn't blame her. I had shattered her heart out of pure selfishness and fear, and had no right to expect anything from her. When Alison came and sat beside me, my mind went blank. How could she possibly be thinking about how I was feeling when I had destroyed her? It reminded me of just why I fell in love with her in the first place. Behind the tough exterior she held all through high school, there was a beautiful soul that was so full of love, joy, and kindness. My mind wandered to the first time my love for her was rekindled after her disappearance.

 _I had fallen asleep reading her journal. Alison had written about us at the kissing rock and how it meant more to her than she first let on. It was destroying me, reading about the not-so-dead girl I loved. She pretended I meant nothing to her and then left me, just like that. But she was alive. We had just learned that a few days ago. I had spent all my free time thinking about her and reading all her entries about us, and my sleep cycle was definitely off because of it._

 _I woke up to the sound of my curtains rustling in the wind. Had I left the window cracked? I didn't remember even opening it in the first place. But when I opened my eyes, there she was, sitting at the foot of my bed. I shot up like a rocket, sure that I was in a dream._

" _Emily, you don't know how much I've missed you…" Anger flared up inside me at her words as I remembered how, in the two years she had been gone,she just let us believe she was dead._

" _Missed me? I've been here the whole time! You're the one that left."_

" _I know you're upset… I know I hurt you the most." She murmured, crawling closer towards me. "But I want to explain."_

" _But you can't," I retorted, fire burning through my veins._

" _But I can… I have to. I owe that to you. You have no idea what I've been through… I saved your life, twice. I risked everything for you." She was desperate now, pleading. Her words were coming out in broken sentences, which was so unlike Alison. She always knew what to say and how to say it, but this time, she was scrambling for the right words._

" _You destroyed me, okay? I thought you were dead!" I was shaking with anger and sadness, watching her closely._

" _But I'm not… aren't you glad that I'm not?" Those nine small words broke me inside. Her eyes were locked with mine, vulnerable and full of emotion, and it hit me hard. I watched as she crawled even closer, so close that I could feel her breath. I couldn't stand it. My anger had gone, seeing her broken and aching like this. Our eyes were still locked on each other, and I couldn't stop myself. I leaned forward and pulled her face to mine, crashing our lips together in one smooth motion. I expected her to tense up and push me away, but she kissed back right away, melting into my arms. I pulled her closer until she was sitting on my lap, her hands tangled in my hair. My hands rested on her hips, her tongue slipping into my mouth with ease. This kiss wasn't like the ones we shared before she disappeared. It was passionate, needy, and full of desire. I pulled away, looked at her, and smiled._

" _Don't leave tonight," I whispered, my heart aching at the thought of having to say goodbye. Her arms were wrapped around my neck now, her eyes locked on mine._

" _I'll have to leave early in the morning, it's still not safe for me to come home…"_

" _Fine, just not now. Not tonight," I begged, pulling her down so she was laying beside me. She nodded as we faced each other, studying the faces we hadn't seen in so long. I gave her a light kiss on the lips before pulling her to my chest where she curled up into me. She laid her head on my chest and closed her eyes, her breathing slowing down as she drifted off. I wrapped my arms around her, falling asleep to the sound of her deep breathing. When I woke up the next morning, all that was left was the warm vanilla scent that followed her wherever she went. She was gone but she was everywhere._

That night she was so different than I remembered her. She _wanted_ me, wanted to be with me, didn't want to leave and break my heart. It made me fall in love with her all over again. A big part of me wanted that to happen now, here, 3 years after I ruined it all. I wanted her to forgive me just as I had done so many times. It was in moments like these I realized just how stupid I had been to leave her, and just how trivial my love for Paige was.

Exhausted by my emotions and high on adrenaline, I grabbed my keys off the kitchen table and made my way to the door. I had to get out of this house and visit my mother before I found a reason not to.

 **Alison**

Back at home, Jacob was napping. I knew what I had to do. It was too hard to keep lying to him, my friends, and myself. I didn't love him the way he wanted me to. I had been pacing around the kitchen with the glass of red wine I had left out earlier in my hand, constantly sipping to try and numb my nerves. I knew Jacob would be hurt and confused, and I knew I couldn't explain it to him. Part of me was afraid of how he would react. I couldn't tell him that he had been my rebound and the person I needed to distract me. After what seemed like ages, I heard his feet hit the floor. I tried to calm myself by sitting on the couch and throwing a blanket over me like a shield.

"Well someone looks tired," I chirped, hoping I sounded natural.

"I just had the greatest nap. How about you, what have you been doing all day?"

"Well, I visited Pam, then went to lunch with Aria," I lied. He couldn't know I saw Emily.

"Sounds nice."

"Yeah… so Jacob? Can you sit? We need to talk," I stammered. My nerves were shot and I just wanted to get it over with. He sat down across from me, a quizzical look on his face. His eyes were trained on me with spite, as if he knew what was coming.

"I um… I think…" I didn't know how to phrase it. "I think we should see other people." His jaw nearly hit the floor as he listened, his eyes empty and sad. "I just… I don't think this is going to work in the long term."

"Are you serious? I have stood by your side and loved you for the past year! I thought we were doing great!" His voice carried a furious tone, making me wrap the blanket around me tighter. His hands were balled into fists, his face red and contorted.

"I just… I'm sorry. I just don't feel the same way you do."

"Is this about that Emily girl? Your ex? Because you told me you were over her!" He was screaming now, his voice echoing through the house. "I can't believe you. You think you can just use and abuse people, Alison, but you can't, not with me." He stood and lumbered over to where I sat on the couch, grabbing the front of my dress and pulling me to my feet with force. I squeaked under his grip, the sound of ripping fabric coming from my back.

"I hope this bitch makes you happy and appeases your thirst for power," he yelled.

"It's not about her, I p-promise!" The terror in my voice was clear as I tried to get the words out, silent tears starting to fall from my eyes. He let my dress go, only to push me back into a wall.

"I don't like being manipulated, Alison," he said, his voice a low growl. I was shaking under him, his hands on either side of my body. I was about to scream when he pressed his lips against mine with such force it hurt. I tried to push him off of me, my sobs growing louder.

"Jacob, s-stop, it's over…" I was cut short by his left hand unzipping my dress so hard that the zipper broke. He pushed it off of my shoulders and down to my waist, revealing the black lace bra I put on this morning. I whimpered under the weight of his body. He kissed me hard again, desperation hot on his breath. I continued to struggle until he grabbed me and threw me on the couch, straddling me and sliding my dress all the way off. A wicked smile spread across his lips.

"You're mine, Alison…" he snarled, and with that, he began to take off his shirt, giving me just enough time to bring my foot to his chest and kick him off of me. He grumbled as he rose to his feet, but I was already scrambling off the couch and running for the basement. I made it to the stairs in time to slam the door behind me and lock it, panting as I tried to catch my breath.

"You can't just drop me like this!" He screamed, his voice making me jump, a slight yelp leaving my mouth. His fist met the door with extreme power, the wood shaking beneath his hand as he pounded again and again. "Open this door right now, Alison! I love you!" The sound of desperation filled his voice again, his anger seeming to vanish. That's what scared me the most, his moods constantly changing.

After a few minutes, I scurried down the steps to find an old t-shirt, throwing it on before running back up to the door. I pressed my ear against the old wood, hearing silence on the other side. I was about to unlock it and peek around the edge when I heard a loud slam and the sound of Jacob's Mustang starting. I waited until I couldn't hear the car's engine anymore to let myself out of the basement, still shaking uncontrollably. The front door was wide open, the door knob laying on the ground next to it. The door frame looked mutilated from how hard he slammed it, the deadbolt bent from the pressure. I simply sat in front of it and cried. When I looked down I finally saw what shirt I was wearing… a Rosewood High Swim Team dry-fit.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all so much for your reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter, this one is a lot more about the Emison reunion. I have been trying to tie this in to the actual events of the TV show as well, so please let me know what you think! This will definitely be a slow burn fanfic, so don't expect too much smut haha. This is my longest chapter yet, so enjoy and keep leaving your reviews and comments!**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Emily**

I started my car quickly, the time reading 5:21 PM. The day seemed to be endless; I landed around noon and since then had managed to run into Spencer, smash my phone, and try to kiss Alison. What a time it's been back in Rosewood.

I backed out of my driveway and began to head down the road, turning onto her street. I knew the fastest way to the hospital would require passing Alison's house, but I didn't mind. It's not like she was waiting for me to show up and kiss her again. I shuddered at that thought, still mortified that I pulled such an idiotic stunt like that. The soft kiss I placed on Alison's lips today was desperate and filled with longing. It reminded me of the timid kiss she placed on my lips many years ago.

 _Hanna's dad was about to get married to another woman, the look of fear evident on Hanna's face as they got ready. For the most part, neither one of us said anything, quietly trying to ignore the task Hanna had to do in order to appease A. When we were finally ready, we headed out to our cars._

" _I'll meet you there?" I said, giving her a reassuring smile._

" _Yeah," was all she could manage to say, stepping inside the silver car and driving away. I began to follow her to the church when suddenly, my GPS started to give me different instructions. Looking around, I couldn't see Hanna's car anymore, my heart starting to race. I glanced in my rear-view mirror and gasped, a small doll that resembled me sitting in the middle of the back seat. I pulled over and picked up the doll, pulling a small string that hung from it's back._

" _Follow the GPS!" It said in a sing-songy voice. Shivers ran down my spine as I threw the doll into the back seat of the car and kept driving. I knew this was A, but also knew I didn't have a choice._

 _I followed the directions all the way to was looked like an old, abandoned barn. My nerves were shot as I put the car in park and stepped outside, the smell of fresh air filling my lungs. As I stepped closer, I could see the large barn door had been pulled to the side, revealing a small black car. I recognized it immediately, my voice cracking as I called out._

" _Dr. Sullivan…?" She had been missing for weeks, and maybe A was ready to give her back with a new story to tell. I kept walking towards the barn, the sound of a running engine becoming loud and clear the closer I got. Finally, I stepped inside the barn to find the black car running. I went to peer in the driver side window when a loud slam echoed in my ears, the barn becoming dark. I turned to find the car empty and the door shut._

 _Panic took over my body as I ran to the door, trying to pry it open with all my strength, but it was no use. The car kept running and all of its doors were locked, the carbon monoxide slowly starting to fill the air. I began to cough, my head spinning and my chest tightening, when suddenly the world went black._

 _When I opened my eyes all I could see was the blue sky and the tops of the trees. The clouds were rolling over me slowly, the air clear, my head pounding. I blinked a few times before I saw her, a beautiful blonde leaning over me. I almost fainted again out of shock. She smiled down at me, her eyes glistening in the sun, her hand stroking my hair. I tried to sit up, but couldn't my strength entirely depleted._

" _It's okay, you're with me now," Alison whispered, the sun peaking through the trees as she spoke._

" _Alison…?" It couldn't be real. I had to be dreaming. But I could feel my head on her lap, her fingers running through my hair softly._

" _It's so good to see you Emily… I think I missed you the most," she said, her mouth pulled up in a soft smile. "I never told you this, but you were always my favorite." I studied her face, my brows knit as I tried to figure her out. I was used to the Alison that was always playing with my emotions, always deceiving me. "Nobody loved me as much as you did." The past tense in her voice made my heart break all over again, thinking that what we had was really in the past._

" _Is this what dying is?" My mind was racing. I couldn't stop the questions. "Do you know who A is?"_

" _Of course I do," she stated, her eyes locked with mine._

" _You have to tell me who it is," I responded, getting my voice back fully now._

" _I don't think that's a good idea…" she said, hesitation in her words. I knew she was worried, scared even, and I just wanted to wrap my arms around her. My body was too weak to respond._

" _Why not?" I pleaded, wishing we could put an end to this entire mess._

" _Because two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead." Her words sent shivers down my spine. I knew what those words meant. It meant that the girl leaning over my frail body was alive, even if no one would believe me._

" _Sweet Emily…" she murmured, her eyes starting to flutter closed. I got nervous, afraid that if this was a dream, I was about to wake up. But before I could get lost in my thoughts, I watched her lean farther down and place a soft, emotion-filled kiss on my lips. It was over before I got the chance to kiss her back, my mind racing. I felt it, the desperation, the sadness. The kiss was so brief and so soft, but it made me think of all the times I had spent with her, all the kisses we shared, all the love I had for her. Before I knew it, I was slipping back into the darkness, her eyes locked with mine until everything went black._

I blinked quickly, rushing myself back to reality. When I finally did pass her house, I slowed down. Something was off. I rolled down my window to get a better look at the wreckage that lay in front of me.

Alison's house had a large, double-front door that was made of a dark, mahogany wood. The left door was wide open, while the right door was still shut. Looking closely, I could see the left door was missing a door knob and the right door was slightly scratched and dented. And when I thought things couldn't get worse, I started to scan her yard. Picture frames, books, and pieces of clothing lined her freshly-cut grass, and were strewn about in such a haphazard way. Broken glass and ripped photos scattered the walkway, and just inside the open left door sat a frail blonde girl I knew all too well. She was curled up, hugging her knees to her chest with her head in between them, the door still wide open as if she made no effort to close it. My heart felt just as broken as the dozens of picture frames in Alison's front yard.

I pulled over to the side of the road as fast as I could, jamming the car in park and sprinting towards her house. I tiptoed across her lawn, trying to avoid the glass daggers that stuck up from the grass, my heart racing. I was in full panic mode. Had she been attacked? Robbed? Did someone try to kidnap her? Kill her? All I could think of was the torturous times of A, which made me panic even more.

I finally made it to her door, and while she had to have heard me coming, she didn't move. She was rocking slightly, still curled up in a ball. Now that I was closer, I could see that, besides her underwear, she was only wearing an oversized, gray t-shirt. I didn't have time to analyze now, I had to help her. I stooped down and wrapped my right arm around her back, placing my left hand on her knee.

"Hey, Alison, what's wrong? Are you ok?" I was flustered and couldn't find the words to say to her. "What happened?" She stopped rocking, her body going rigid under my touch. She slowly lifted her head to look at me, her cheeks stained from tears and her eyes bloodshot and puffy. I didn't pull away, even if she wanted me to. Instead I pulled her closer, sitting down beside her and wrapping both arms around her. I could feel her relax in my arms as she started to shake, and I knew she was crying.

We sat like that for a long time. I didn't say a word, just letting her cry as I held her. I did everything I could to calm her down; I stroked her hair, held her as tight as I could, rubbed her back. All of the things that used to put her at ease had no effect. Whatever had happened was something neither of us had dealt with before.

When she finally stopped sobbing into my chest, I let her go, trying to get her to look at me. She had yet to speak. Alison didn't raise her head, and once again I felt my heart racing in my chest. Something was really wrong. So I stood up and looked at the door. The doorknob had fallen off entirely and the deadbolt had cut into the wood on the right door, leaving gnarly dents. The left door couldn't latch, so I took off my shoes and used them to hold the door closed. Alison hadn't moved. After the door had been semi-closed, I reached down and wrapped my arms around her once more, lifting her off the ground this time and walking her over to the couch. As I was about to set her down, I saw a ripped blue dress, one of her favorites, laying on the floor. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind. Alison had wrapped her arms around my neck and all I could hear was a faint but definite no, so I kept walking until we were in her childhood bedroom on the second floor. It was our safe place many years ago. I laid her in bed and stood up, preparing to leave. I didn't know what else to do.

"Emily, wait…" Ali mumbled, her voice cracked and strained. I didn't know what had happened, but I knew I couldn't leave her. "Please don't leave me…" I smiled a bit as she read my mind, walking back to her bed and sitting beside her.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked softly, pulling her hand into my own. She shook her head in response, squeezing my hand lightly.

"N-not yet… I just n-need to sleep first…" I saw a quick look of panic cross her face before she continued, "Will you stay w-with me until I wake up?" I traced the back of her hand with my thumb, smiling down at her.

"Of course, I'll be right here when you wake up. But you _will_ have to tell me what happened so we can fix this mess," I said, letting go of her hand. She nodded solemnly as she closed her eyes, completely worn out from all the tears she had shed. I stood, pulling the blankets over the frail girl laying there. I debated sitting on the foot of the bed, but she looked so scared and fragile… so instead, I crawled across her bed and lay beside her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her to my chest. I felt Alison relax as I held her, her breathing slowing down. It was nice to know that after all these years, she still felt safe in my arms. As she cuddled closer to my side, I started to drift off too, that warm vanilla scent that I loved so much putting me right to sleep.

 **Alison**

My eyes fluttered open, the curtains doing a horrible job of keeping the sun at bay. Everything felt… different. When I looked around, I saw the same pink, Eiffel Tower comforter, and the small things that lined my dresser reminded me of high school. I was about to get up when I felt her, the brunette mermaid that was holding me to her chest. The scent of chlorine clung to the swim t-shirt I had thrown on, reminding me of the days I would sneak off to watch Emily swim. Her head was laying on my shoulder, her deep brown hair falling over her face and spilling onto my arms. She had her arms wrapped protectively around my waist, something she used to do every night. I knew this was a bad idea, letting Emily hold me like this while I wore nothing but my underwear and one of her old shirts, but I couldn't convince myself to move away from her. She seemed so calm, so comfortable, and I didn't want to let this moment go. It still hurt, knowing that she had walked away from me three years ago, but laying in her arms felt safe, something I haven't felt in a long time. My train of thought was shattered when I felt Emily start to squirm behind me, her arms stretching forward and her head leaning back. I slowly turned over on my side to face her.

"Well, I'm glad I can actually see your eyes this time," Emily croaked, her throat dry from the long nap we just took. I smiled slightly, almost forgetting about the large bruise starting to form on my side. A slight chuckle made me cringe in pain.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Emily looked at me full of concern, her hand reaching up and pushing my hair out of my face. I didn't have the energy to stop her, so instead I just sat up on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"A lot of things," I mumbled, pulling the comforter over my bare legs. Emily sat up next to me, looking down at the small Eiffel Towers that lined the pink fabric.

"Well, why don't you start with what happened last night… and please, don't sugar coat it," Emily said, her voice quiet. I was well beyond the point in my life where I felt I had to lie to her. What did I have to lose?

"I uh… I was dating this guy. Jacob. And, to be entirely honest, I didn't love him. I tried really hard to make myself _believe_ that I did. He was so nice and our relationship was so _easy,_ and I wanted some stability in my life. After a year of dating, I finally started to admit to myself that I wasn't happy and I was just settling for something I didn't want. So last night, I had worked up the nerve to tell him that. It just… didn't go so well," I stammered, trying to get the words out quickly. I saw her brow knit on her forehead as it always did when she was thinking or angry. I decided to keep talking, hoping I could get through this story before the tears started to fall.

"I told him I wanted to see other people and he lost it. I had seen some of his anger before, but it seemed like a competitive anger. This time was different. He started screaming at me, ripped my dress and threw me on the couch. He was gonna… he…" I couldn't stop the silent tears that started to fall down my cheeks. Just thinking about it made me want to throw up. Emily pulled my hand into hers, intertwining our fingers and rubbing her thumb across the top of my hand. It gave me enough strength to keep talking.

"He held me against the wall, and he was pushing me so hard it… left this," I said, using my free hand to pull up my shirt and show her the big blue and black bruise that spread across my side and stomach. Fire burned in Emily's eyes.

"When he threw me on the couch, I had just enough time to kick him away. I locked myself in the basement until he left. I guess in between then he started to smash things and break the door. Honestly, I don't remember that much of what happened after I got away… it's all a blur. I let myself out of the basement, saw all the brokenness, and just… sat there. I couldn't bring myself to clean it, everything just felt… broken," I said, her hand still firmly gripping mine. Emily couldn't even look at me, her eyes filled with anger and sadness. I sighed, pulling my hand away and bringing my knees to my chest. The blanket fell down my legs but I didn't care.

"Ali, I…" She was fuming, my nickname rolling smoothly off her tongue. "You didn't deserve this… any of it. I'm sorry… not just for Jacob. I'm sorry for ever letting you go," I could hear the sadness dripping from her lips. She met my eyes now, and I could see the tears building up. I had so many questions, but I decided to start with just one.

"How's California?" I smiled at her lightly, which made her chuckle in response.

"I'm surprised, I thought you'd have more to say to me."

"Oh I do, trust me, but I'm not ready to talk about it just yet." She sighed, shaking her head and smiling slightly. I loved that smile. The way she could softly smile without showing her teeth was always something I loved to see.

"Well, it's been okay. The weather is much better there and the coaching has been fun, but it hasn't… felt like home." I nodded, still hugging my knees and looking down. I couldn't find the words, so I settled for something pretty mundane.

"I know the feeling." We sat in silence for a few minutes before another question popped into my mind, and I was too worn out to hold it back.

"What did I do wrong?" My question came out as barely a whisper, but it caught Emily's attention. I saw her flinch when I finished.

"Nothing, Ali, nothing. I… it was all me. When we lost the twins, something inside me broke. Being in Rosewood reminded me off everyone I had lost… my dad, Maya, the twins… and it just made me sick," she said, turning her body to face me now. I looked at her, tears stinging the back of my eyes. I couldn't cry anymore, not to her. I had to keep my walls up. She sounded as if she was pleading, begging for me to believe her. "Not only was I depressed for those six months, I was psyching myself out. I had put myself back in the mindset of my 16 year old self, thinking that without the twins, you would leave me. I was paranoid. Part of me didn't want to get hurt, but another part of me didn't want to drag you down with me. So I left, thinking it would be easier… but it wasn't." I pulled the covers back over my legs, laying on my side to watch her as she spoke. My whole body hurt after all that had happened in the past 24 hours, but I kept my eyes open, needing to hear her out.

"Alison, I know I can't make you understand or make you believe me, but I promise you, leaving that day was the worst decision I've ever made. I was a train wreck, and I know that nothing I say will make it right or justify what I did. I just thought you should know." I looked at her, my head propped up by my hand.

"So you ran away," I said matter-of-factly, trying to understand. I saw her flinch again.

"Yeah, I ran away. I'm so, so sorry Ali. I can never fully explain why I did it, but my life hasn't been any better for it." She was begging again, a silent tear sliding down her face.

"I know what it's like, to run away. It's lonely. The only difference is, you ran away and found a job at a top tier college and a new girlfriend. If you regretted it so much, why didn't you come back?" My voice was cracking and broken, and I knew my emotions were getting the best of me.

"I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already had… when I had finally been able to get past losing the twins a few months after I moved to California, I thought about coming back, I did. But then I thought about having to face you again, having to tell you why I left, all of it, and I knew it would hurt more. I just… I couldn't let me be the cause of any more pain." She was being genuine and telling me the truth. Not that she ever really lied to me. I was the one to do that. But it meant more, knowing that she had nothing to hide.

"Ok," was all I could say.

"Ok what?"

"Ok, I believe you. I tried to stay strong after we lost the twins, and I know what it's like, trying not to hurt the people you love most. I get it. That doesn't mean…"

"I know, I know. I have a lot of work to do," she said, reading my mind and cutting me off. I smiled, shaking my head.

"Can we just take another nap and talk more tomorrow? I'm so tired I can't see straight," I laughed, immediately regretting it as pain shot through my side.

"Yeah, of course… and you want me to stay?" I rolled my eyes in amusement. Her carefulness was sweet and entertaining at the same time.

"Yes, please." I patted the bed next to me, signaling her to lay back down. She didn't complain, laying down beside me and just looking back into my eyes.

"You know, I was wondering where that shirt went," she mused, laughing slightly. "It looks good on you." I smiled, her hand reaching up and wiping hair out of my face. I scooted closer to her, cuddling up against her chest and letting her wrap her arms around me. I rested my head on her shoulder, my eyes starting to drift close and my breathing starting to slow again.

"Thank you," Emily whispered as she kissed the top of my head.

"For what?" I mumbled, my eyes still closed.

"For letting me back in."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Once again, sorry for the wait. This chapter is really setting the stage for the long awaited confrontation between them so I hope you enjoy.**

 **Chapter 6**

 **Emily**

I couldn't fall asleep this time, my mind racing. It didn't feel real, lying here with Alison in my arms. It was something I hadn't been able to do for three years, even though it occurred frequently in my dreams. I knew I had a long way to go with her. I had so much to explain, a whole other life to tell her about. I thought about that life less and less when I was with Ali. Everything in California was so… boring. Even when I met up with Paige again, everything felt wrong.

 _I'd been coaching at Stanford for a few months now, and the sting of my old life was starting to wear off. It was late, maybe nine or ten, and we had just won a big meet. All the girls went out to celebrate, but I didn't have the energy or the enthusiasm to join them. I put my earbuds in, turning my music up loud, and started walking back to my small apartment. It wasn't far from campus, which is why I picked it, and I had finally gotten past the paranoia that had gripped my for years after A. Tonight was a peaceful night, the air was crisp and the win had my spirits higher than usual. A hand fell on my shoulder, making me jump out of my skin. I whipped around, tearing my earbuds out and narrowing my eyes._

" _Emily Fields?" A familiar voice said, a tall red-head stepping even closer than she already was._

" _Paige..?" I tucked my phone and earbuds back into my pocket, looking at her. She had definitely grown up since senior year, her hair short and face much more chiseled._

" _What are you doing here? I thought you were staying in Rosewood with Alison," she said, her eyes instantly diverting to my left hand. The sound of Alison's name cut deep into my heart._

" _I uh, got an offer to coach at Stanford a few months ago and couldn't pass it up…" Her eyes travelled from my baren left hand to my eyes._

" _Wow, I'm impressed. That's a big deal. I have to say, I'm surprised Alison isn't here with you," she continued. I flinched again, quickly shutting this down._

" _Well, I ended things. I'm here by myself," I stated, trying not to show any emotion. "What have you been up to?" She seemed to get the message and didn't skip a beat._

" _I'm the athletic director at Palo Alto High. It's been a lot of fun, pays well, guess I can't really complain," she said, a smirk playing on her lips. I smiled a bit, glad to have the company._

" _Well, I was just heading home. We won the quarterfinal meet today," I continued, starting to walk again._

" _Walking home? I never thought we'd be able to do that…" I chuckled._

 __" _Yeah, that's one thing I don't miss about Rosewood. Paranoia seemed to follow me everywhere in that town," I murmured. "Want to walk with me?"_

" _Yeah, why not. I'll just call a cab home," she said through a smile. "Maybe we can catch up a bit more over a bottle of wine, if you're not too tired."_

" _That sounds nice," I said, a coy smile on my face._

 _We talked for hours until Paige fell asleep on my couch. I didn't wake her, just going to my room and closing the door. I envisioned a future with Paige, wondering what it would be like. With Alison, everything we did together was so full of love. Cooking, watching movies, going out on weekly dates, holding hands as we walked down the street. Those small, romantic gestures were things I couldn't imagine doing that with anyone else. But Paige was here, giving me a chance to forget about the horrible mistake I made a few months ago. So we started going on dates, watching movies, holding hands as she walked home with me from work. But nothing felt the same._

Thinking back on it now, I knew from that first meeting that I didn't love her. Even after months of dating, I couldn't reciprocate the feelings she had for me. So I started to fake it. For months that turned into years, I convinced myself and Paige that I loved her. It made everything easier, being in a relationship. It distracted me from the feelings I had for someone else, someone I had destroyed and left back in Rosewood.

Alison was still sleeping in my arms, my gray swim t-shirt hanging loosely on her body. It made me smile, seeing her wear my clothes again. She used to wear them to bed every night, claiming they were an extra layer of comfort. I kissed her head lightly again, sliding myself out from under her and heading down the stairs. I latched the door to her room closed, hoping she would sleep for a few more hours so I could clean up.

I started with the living room, picking up her mangled blue dress and tossing it in the large trash bag I was carrying with me. I then continued out to the front yard, pushing my shoes away to let the door swing open. I started to pick up the bigger pieces of glass and wood, trying not to cut myself. There were pictures of her and Jacob scattered along the grass, which I took the liberty of throwing away as well. Once I had picked up all the largest pieces, I threw the bag in the trash can on her curb before heading back through the wide open door. I found a dustpan and broom in her kitchen and went back outside, starting to sweep away the tiny glass fragments that covered the walkway. I got as much up as I could, and once it looked clean again, I headed back inside. My next task was to fix the door.

I wasn't the most handy person but I knew that Spencer and Toby still lived in Rosewood, so I snuck back upstairs to find Ali's phone. I had Toby's number, but my phone was now sitting in a million pieces in my trash can.

I looked around her room but couldn't find the phone anywhere, assuming that she left it downstairs before Jacob attacked her. So I hurried back to the living room, looking all around the kitchen and the couch. I found it tucked in between the cushions of the couch, the battery dead. I rushed to plug it in on the kitchen island, hoping it would at least turn on. I saw the screen turn white and grabbed it quickly, only to find a I needed the passcode. All I needed was four numbers.

I started to brainstorm important dates in Alison's life. I started with her birthday, June 23rd, 0623. That didn't work. Next, I tried the day we got engaged, September 18th, 0918. No luck. I even tried the day I left her, March 7th, 0307. Still, nothing. I had one more chance before I was locked out of the phone for at least 30 minutes, and I wanted this door fixed before Ali woke up. So, in a last ditch effort, I tried my birthday, November 19th, 1119. And to my surprise, it worked. I laughed to myself a bit, pulling the phone into my hands and bringing up Toby's contact. I hit the call button before I could second guess myself.

"Hello?" A raspy voice answered, one I hadn't heard in a long time.

"Uh, hey Toby, it's Emily… listen before you hang up, just hear me out," I pleaded, trying to keep this call going. I felt his hesitation through the line.

"Why are you calling me from Alison's phone… how do you even have it?" He seemed hostile, which didn't surprise me.

"I'm at her house right now. Her boyfriend Jacob freaked out on her when they broke up and ruined her front door. I wanted to have it fixed for her as soon as possible and my phone is broken…" I didn't know how to fully explain this without talking to him in person.

"This is insane, Alison would never let you into her house."

"Her door was wide open when I drove by and her yard was covered in glass and broken picture frames. I was concerned so I went to help her… listen, we can talk about this more when you get here. I just want this door fixed before she wakes up." There was silence on the other end for a few seconds.

"Yeah, fine, I'll be over in five," he grumbled, hanging up quickly. I set Alison's phone back on the counter, letting it charge while I waited for Toby. I decided to wait on the porch, allowing myself some fresh air. I sat for a few minutes until I saw Toby walking up with his tool belt secured around his waist.

"Thank you for coming, Toby…" I said, standing as he approached Alison's house. He had a small frown on his face, and I could see the confusion in his eyes.

"Yeah well, I'm here for Alison," he said, his eyes locked on mine. I looked at my feet before I continued.

"So uh, the doorknob fell off and the deadbolt cut into some of the wood… is there any way we can fix it without replacing the door entirely?"

"We should be able to. Just need a new deadbolt," he said, his tone relaxing a bit as he walked past me to the open door ahead. "And you said her boyfriend did this?"

"Yeah, he apparently slammed the door pretty hard. I already cleaned up all the glass but didn't know how to latch the door." Toby looked at me before starting to work.

"Why are you doing this for her? I mean, why even make an effort? You already destroyed her once," he said, his words sharp.

"Toby I… I regret leaving her. So much. And I already explained as much of it as I could to her, and I know I have a lot of work to do, but please, just hear me out…"

"Hear you out?" His voice was rising. "Spencer and I had to piece her back together for nearly a year and even after she met Jacob she still couldn't hear your name without cringing. You broke her, Emily, something I never thought you would do." I just stood there, at a loss for words. Tears started to find their way down my cheeks again, but I didn't care.

"I know. I don't deserve the kindness she's shown me, but I… I still love her. And she needs me right now, she's the one who asked me to stay. I just wanted her to wake up to a clean house." He simply nodded, looking back at the damage and pulling out the tools he needed. Without looking back at me, he continued.

"If you hurt her again…" I cut him off.

"I won't… I promise."

"She still loves you too, if that's any consolation. I just hope she makes you work for it," he sighed, picking up the doorknob and starting to screw it back in its place.

"I know. I don't expect anything from her… I just need her to know it wasn't her fault."

Toby kept working as I sat on the porch, both of us silent. It was better that way. I couldn't bear to hear the disappointment in his voice and I didn't have the right words to say to him right now. It wasn't long before he had finished putting the door back together and was gathering his tools.

"Toby?" He looked at me as he strapped the belt back on his waist. "Can we… meet for coffee sometime? Spencer can come too… actually I'd love if Spencer came," I said hesitantly.

"I uh… I can ask her. And Em? I believe you… what you said about not wanting to hurt Ali? About still loving her? I think after what A put us through, all of us can say we've done something similar." His small smile warmed me, making me think that it was possible to gain their trust again. I nodded and stepped towards him.

"Thanks… it means a lot." I hugged him quickly, glad I was one step closer to having a friend back.

"I'll call you about that coffee, on your phone this time?" He chuckled lightly, starting to walk down the steps. I chuckled to myself. I really did need to get a new phone.

"Yeah, that sounds great… thanks again, for the door." He nodded before turning and walking back down the street towards Spencer's house, where I guess he had moved in after the engagement. I smiled to myself, glad that I was able to get a second chance with two important people in my life. With the door fixed, I stepped back inside and latched it behind me, setting Ali's phone back on the charger. I went to sit on the couch. The past 24 hours seemed like a blur, everything my heart longed for the past 3 years coming true. I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep after a long morning.

 **Alison**

I woke up for the second time that morning, but this time I was all alone in my childhood bed. Where _was_ Emily? I remembered falling asleep against her and asking her to stay, so a slight anger started to boil within me when I couldn't find her in my room. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and forced myself to stand, taking the opportunity to throw on a pair of black sweatpants that were still left in my dresser. My head was still pounding, but this time I figured it was because of too much sleep. I headed downstairs quickly, hoping to at least find a note from Emily. After her explanation, I really felt that we could move on, even if we had to take things slow. I just wanted her back in my life, no matter how broken our past relationship was. I needed her, and last night I got the feeling she needed me.

I reached the kitchen and found my phone charging on the island. The first thing I noticed was Emily sleeping on the couch, her arms curled under her head. I smiled, glad she stuck around. Next, I saw the living room was clean and the door was latched shut, the door knob back in its rightful place. Emily's shoes were sitting next to the door instead of holding it shut. I was amazed at how quickly she was able to get this place cleaned up… at least I think she was the one to do it. Who else would have put my house back together in the past four hours? I peeked out the front window to find my yard completely devoid of glass, picture frames, and wood, which made me smile brighter. All evidence of Jacob's breakdown was gone, giving me a chance to finally breathe again.

I couldn't believe Emily was sleeping so soundly on my couch after cleaning my entire house and somehow fixing my door. It felt like a dream, seeing her lay there with a soft smile spread across her face and her hair falling over her shoulders. Seeing her like this took me back to when we first found out about the twins. She fell asleep in this exact spot, all of the emotions from that night flooding back to me.

" _I'm pregnant," I whispered, facing away from her. Emily spun around and looked at me._

" _What?" She acted as if she didn't hear me._

" _I'm pregnant… I just… in there…" I sat on the small chest in front of my bed, Emily rushing to sit beside me and grab my hand._

" _Are you sure?"_

" _There's two lines on the stick… I was waiting for one to disappear but it didn't," I stammered, my mind racing._

" _Is it Archer's?"_

" _Of course! Who else could it be?" I paused, my entire body shaking. "Oh my god I can't believe this is happening… I thought we were careful. This isn't how I pictured starting a family," I mumbled._

" _You don't have to make any decisions right now," she assured me, squeezing my hand lightly._

" _I know, I just thought my mom would be here when this happened… at least I wouldn't be alone…"_

" _You're not alone," she said, her voice sharp. "I'm here, whatever you decide," Emily persisted, her eyes locked on mine. "Now come on, let's change into our pajamas and watch a movie, calm you down a bit."_

 _So that's what we did. We grabbed a blanket and some popcorn and curled up on the couch, turning on an old film noir. But I couldn't shut my mind off, no matter how hard I tried. All I could think about was what having this kid would do to my future. Emily said she was here for me, but I still felt alone… and being alone was the last thing I wanted right now. So I kissed her. I figured this was the best way for me to keep her here. The kiss was light at first, but soon it became passionate and desperate. Emily pulled me into her arms, our lips still locked, her hands tangled in my light blonde hair. I fell asleep there next to her, her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I woke up the next morning to find her laying on my couch with a soft smile on her face, and I knew I had lied to myself. I didn't kiss her to get her to stay. I kissed her because I wanted to wake up to that soft smile for the rest of my life._

Seeing Emily asleep on my couch filled me with hope… and a bit of fear. I wanted to go back to where we were before all of this happened, but I had so many worries. What if she left again? How could she have done that to me? If she still loved me, why did she leave in the first place? I had so many questions, but I didn't want to wake her. So instead, I picked up my phone off the counter (Emily must have plugged it in) and headed outside to sit on my now clean porch, latching the door lightly behind me. I was dialing Spencer's number as I sat down on the front steps, leaning against the pillars.

"Hello?" The confident, sharp voice said.

"Hey, Spence," I responded, a smile on my face. It was so good to hear her voice… the past 24 hours felt like weeks.

"Hi Ali, what's up?" She sounded concerned.

"Well… how do I put this? Emily's here. She's asleep on my couch. She's been here since last night and uh, it's been nice," I said softly. Spencer sighed before she spoke.

"Yeah, Toby told me. Emily called him this morning asking for him to come fix your door." She didn't sound as furious as I was expecting.

"You don't seem that angry… are you ok? This is very unlike the Spencer Hastings I know."

"Ha ha Ali, very funny. And yeah, I was mad at first, but Toby told me she sounded really sincere. Plus, she came over and took care of you after… whatever Jacob put you through." I cringed a little bit at the mention of the event.

"I uh… yeah. I have to tell you about that, don't I."

"Oh 100%. But I'm glad she is helping you. I may not trust her, but if she's cleaning your house and making you feel safe then I can't be mad. Nervous, but not mad." I smiled again, glad I had a friend like Spencer in my life. It took us so long to get to this point, but I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.

"Thanks, Spence. It means a lot."

"That doesn't mean…" she started to say, her tone wary. I stopped her.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. That doesn't mean you condone any sort of relationship yet. I get it. I'm not even sure what Em and I are yet. I'm just glad she's here, and that's all I care about right now." The line was silent for a moment.

"Wow, I'm impressed. That was _exactly_ what I was going to say," she said, sarcasm heavy in her words.

"Hey, that was pretty close. Don't discredit me," I retorted. I heard her chuckle lightly on the other end.

"Whatever. Just… be careful, ok? I don't want to have to piece you together again," she said seriously. Her protectiveness over me made me smile.

"You won't have to, I promise. Listen I should probably go, I don't want Em to freak out if she wakes up and I'm not there. Love you Spence," I said, standing up.

"Love you too, Ali," she replied. I ended the call and walked back inside quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping beauty on my couch. I sat down on the chair beside the sofa and knew we needed to have a conversation‒ _the_ conversation‒when she woke up, so I decided to organize my thoughts into specific questions and topics. I wrote them down on a new note in my phone, limiting myself to bullet points. Just as I finished jotting down a few ideas, I heard a soft sigh escape Emily's soft lips, smiling as her eyes lit up when they locked on mine. I turned off my phone and moved myself to the couch, lifting her legs and setting them on my lap so we could both fit. I patted her leg lightly before speaking.

"We need to talk."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the delay. I realize it's been nearly two months since my last chapter, but I had a bit of writers block and a very busy schedule. However, I'm back with a long chapter for you full of action. These next few chapters will be coming out more regularly, so please keep leaving reviews and reading. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter 7**

 **Emily**

 _Shit._ As much as I needed to fully clear the air with her, I really wasn't ready to have this conversation. Knowing Alison, she would have a neatly outlined list of exactly what she wanted to know and what she should limit herself to. This is all new territory for us… the only times we have had a serious conversation like this was when Ali came back from New York alive after faking her death for two years.

I sat up, leaning against the armrest behind me as Alison lifted my legs onto her lap. I gave her a dopey smile when I finally got comfortable.

"I uh, assume you already have a list?" The shock on her face was evident.

"Wow, you really _do_ know me… yeah okay, maybe I have a list. But can you blame me?" Her tone was still playful, which made it easier… for now.

"No, of course not. Do you mind telling me what time it is? My phone is still sitting in a trashcan on the curb," I chuckled.

"It's 1:30 PM. Why, did you have plans?" She said in an almost mocking tone. I stared her dead in the eye.

"Yeah, visiting my mom?" She choked on the drink of water she just took, leaning over to keep it in her mouth.

"Wow, I'm a bitch. I'm sorry, with everything going on I totally spaced…" I laughed lightly to reassure her.

"I know, I'm kidding. But seriously, I do have to visit her today. I was going to go last night but… y'know. I'm pretty sure visiting hours are from 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM for her, so we have time."

"Okay," she said softly, taking a big breath to calm her apparent nerves. I pulled my feet off of her lap and curled them up in front of my chest, waiting for her first question. "Can you just lay out for me _why_ you decided to leave? I know you kind of explained it earlier but I…" I cut her off, not needed for her to defend herself.

"Hey, I get it. I am not judging you at all, in fact I have no right to. All those years ago, when you left me in high school, I was furious at you. I always told myself that, if I were in that situation, I would have made a different choice; I wouldn't have abandoned you. But when it came down to it, I was a coward. In all honesty, I was extremely depressed after you miscarried the twins. Even getting off the couch was a challenge during those days, and soon enough I had lost my job at the school. I felt like my life was falling to pieces, and because I was so blinded by my own sadness, I didn't even bother to be there for you. I was selfish, and when I started to realize that I was ruining your life, I left, thinking I was doing you a favor. I realized very quickly afterwards that I had hurt both of us, but didn't want to bring another storm into your life just a few months later by coming back to Rosewood. Alison, I'm sorry. I know that doesn't mean much now, but you have to know that I didn't mean to hurt you and I mean it, from the bottom of my heart." Her jaw slacked open as I finished my long response, a few moments of silence passing before she could speak.

"Well, you just answered questions one through three. What a time saver you are, Emily Fields." She gave me a small smirk before continuing. "Next on the list… what about Paige? You're here with me and you haven't said one thing about your girlfriend. I don't want to cause another break-up between you two."

"No no no, Alison, you are not causing any issues between us right now. I mean yeah, the feelings I have for you are causing some issues, but it's not your fault. Paige knows that I haven't talked to you in three years, but she doesn't know the full reason that I left. I never told her. In fact, Paige and I have had the easiest relationship because we never talk about things. I was actually planning on breaking up with her, but instead of doing that, I smashed my phone. That conversation you overheard was me trying to convince her not to come to Rosewood. Honestly, the real reason I haven't said anything about her is because I don't plan on staying with her."

"Is that because of us actually getting along?" She asked, a small smile playing on her lips. I know she secretly loved the idea of being the better girlfriend than Paige.

"Partially. Just being back here, seeing you… it's made me realize that I've been using Paige as a distraction from my real feelings. I can't do that to her. Like I said, I smashed my phone because I'm tired of letting people down… first you, and now Paige." Alison reached over and rested her hand on my knee, giving me a reassuring smile as she looked back down at her phone.

"Do you…" she started, a slight tremor to her voice. "Do you still have feelings for me?" The question rang in my ears as I cracked a smile.

"Of course I do. I just wasn't going to say it because I was afraid I'd scare you away," I said softly.

"Are you kidding? You smashed your phone right in front of me and I didn't run for the hills. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you, too, but I don't want to rush into anything…"

"Yes, I'm totally on the same page. Listen, even if we have to be just friends, I'm okay with that. I mean, that's not my idea for the long haul but… I just want to be around you again. I've missed you so much, and I will be in Rosewood for the next two months, so we might as well be friends, right?" My sentences were not flowing as smoothly as they did for her first few questions. Alison laughed a little bit before she continued.

"Emily, it's okay, I get it." Her hand hadn't moved from my knee. "I think that's all I have for you. Thank you, Ms. Fields, no further questions," she said in a formal tone, her dimples showing as she tried to hide a smile.

"Are you serious? I really thought I was going to get grilled for _way_ longer." She shrugged.

"You sounded genuine and remorseful, which is enough for me. After all those years of A, I've learned to forgive a little easier. Besides, I don't want to keep you from visiting your mom… again." Her fingers were tracing patterns on my knee, the soft touch sending electricity through me.

"Well in that case, I'd better head home to shower and get into some clean clothes. Oh, and I should probably get that new phone I've been talking about. So when a new number texts you tonight, don't freak out, it's just me." I smiled at her, glad we could finally make jokes about the infamous A.

"Okay, I'll be waiting for it," she said, standing up and holding out her hand. I took it, allowing her to help me up, and headed for the door. I slipped my shoes and jacket back on and turned around to give her a tight hug.

"Seriously, I'll text you later," I said, pulling away and smiling.

"I got it, Em." She gave me a soft kiss on the cheek before I headed out the newly fixed door and bounded towards my car, my heart soaring.

x-x-x-x

I stood under the hot water in my shower for at least 30 minutes, my mind racing. I wanted to get that new phone before I went to the hospital, because now that we had been back together, I didn't want to be walking around without a way to talk to Alison. It was back, that feeling of desperation for her. When she first came back to Rosewood after her disappearance, the same thing happened.

" _Has anyone heard from Alison?" I said sharply as I sat down on the couch at the Brew. The girls looked back at me, confused._

" _Em, she doesn't want to talk to us right now. She'll reach out when she's ready," Aria chimed in, her voice steady. I didn't understand why everyone was so calm when Alison was sitting alone at home, hiding from A and from the press. Someone should be there with her._

" _Do you hear yourself, Aria? We dragged her back here, convinced her it was safe, and now it's happening all over again. Someone has to go talk to her." Everyone stared at me, their hurt looks not getting past my angry exterior._

" _We have to give her time to process this, Emily. She just lost her mom and A is back… I don't think there's any easy way to handle this," Spencer whispered, trying to keep her voice level. While they wouldn't admit it, I knew the other girls were just as scared of this new A._

" _Listen, I get it, she has to process or whatever. But shouldn't we atleast call her? Leave her a message? Anything?" The desperation bled through my voice with such force I thought tears were going to come next. I missed her, I was worried about her, and I didn't want to let her slip through my fingers again._

" _Em, c'mon…" Hanna stuttered as she wrapped her arms around me. "I know you're worried about her, but she's safe now. There are officers stationed at her doors and her dad won't let her out of his sight. Just relax and wait it out… sometimes all people need is a little bit of space." Space was the last thing I wanted from Alison right now. In fact, I didn't want to let her walk away from me at all. But I knew they were right. So I settled for a text, because the silent treatment wasn't my strong suit._

' _Hey Ali, I know you probably need your space right now, but I just wanted you to know that I miss you and am always here for you. x Em'_

 _She didn't respond for a few hours, but later that night, I got her short reply._

' _I miss you too, Em. Can you come over?'_

 _That was all I needed. So at 1:15 AM, I hopped on my bike and sped to her house, not thinking twice._

It had always been that way between us. I was always so desperate for her love and she was all too willing to drop me and pick me back up when it was convenient. But things changed after A kidnapped us. She became the desperate one, always wanting to check in on me and make sure I was okay. She always stopped by the house with food, left voicemails on my phone, and texted me every night. It felt good to finally be wanted by Alison. And now, after being the one to drop her and swoop in to pick her back up, I knew I had to chase after her again. I couldn't let her slip away from me, even if it was by accident. We had been through too much together, and all I wanted was to go back to the day where neither of us had to chase, because we both wanted each other.

After a crazy past 24 hours, I was back in my car. I checked the clock, a normal routine, and read 3:04 PM. Perfect. I had enough time to run to the store and get my new phone before I went to visit my mom.

At the store, I floated over to the new iPhone section, looking at the newest model. The iPhone X was gorgeous, and I couldn't help myself. So I walked up to the front counter and pulled out my wallet, hoping to get this done as fast as possible.

"How can I help you, miss?" The lanky man behind the counter said. He didn't look a day over 25 and had the smallest glasses I had ever seen.

"I just needed to purchase and set up a new iPhone X," I said, pulling out my debit card. The man pulled out a few different phones, motioning for me to pick a color. I went with the classic space grey.

"Okay, that will be one thousand and eighteen dollars, ma'am." My eyes widened at the price, but of course, I handed my card over anyway. After we finished the transaction, I ran to my car and pulled the shiny new phone out of the box, powering it on only to realize I would need WiFi to get all of my data back. I sighed, putting my car in drive and heading towards the hospital.

It didn't take long in the store, so when I finally arrived at the hospital, I still had 25 minutes to spare before they even let me in to see my mother. So I turned off the car quickly and headed up to the waiting room, my new phone practically burning a hole in my pocket. I went straight up to the third floor where my mother was, walking briskly to the front desk in the waiting area.

"Hi, I'm here to see Pam Fields," I said, my hand in my pocket resting on top of the new phone. I just wanted data so I could text Alison. Why was that so hard?

"Ok, visiting hours don't start for another 20 minutes for her unit considering the condition she's in. You'll only have about 30 minutes," The woman said, her fingers moving like lightning on the keyboard. My heart sank.

"Why is there a time restriction?"

"Typically patients who are suffering from brain damage can be much more irritable and need a lot more rest. I'm assuming you're the daughter?"

"Yes, I am," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Well, we are trying to make your mother stable enough to release her. As of right now, it looks like she can be at home by the end of the week. However, she can't do anything on her own. The stroke was caused by a tumor in her brain, leaving permanent brain damage. This tumor is growing very rapidly, and looks to be terminal. We can go over the details after the visit, if that would be better for you, ma'am." I was staring at the floor, unsure what to say.

"I uh, yeah, that would be better… is there anything I should know before I go in?" I stammered, trying to calm myself down.

"Well, part of the brain damage your mother suffered is affecting her speech and understanding. When you talk, it may take her a little while to fully understand what you are saying, and she won't be able to respond very well. Like I said, this can make her very frustrated so just be patient with her. Other than that, your mother hasn't experienced any personality changes, so she is still herself. Remember that, okay Emily?" I was taken aback by her kindness, smiling at her.

"Thanks. I'll be back in fifteen minutes when the visiting hours start," I told her, walking over to take a seat. I finally took out my new phone and turned it on, joining the free hospital WiFi and logging in to my account. I started downloading my data while waiting, and just as my phone finished, the woman at the front desk motioned me over.

"You can go see her now."

 **Alison**

I couldn't stop smiling after Emily left. It felt unreal, being able to feel safe around her again. It was all I had wanted for the past three years and the time had finally come. I decided to take a shower as well, in the event that I saw Emily again soon. Was it too early to want her to stay at my house again? I showered quickly, thinking about what I could possibly say to Spencer. How could I explain that Jacob had attacked me and the only person I wanted to comfort me was Emily? I wanted to push back that conversation as far as I could. I was about to settle back in on the couch when my phone started to ring. I ran over to the kitchen counter, hoping to see Emily's name pop up on the caller ID. However, the name that I really saw was much more surprising.

"Uh… hello?" I stammered, hoping I didn't sound as nervous as I was feeling.

"Hey Alison! It's been a while since we've talked, huh?" Her voice was light and fun, just as it always was. I missed that voice, but I was too nervous to have fun in the moment. I knew why she was calling.

"What's up Hanna?"

"Well, as you know, Emily's back in Rosewood… and I just felt like I should check in! I'm your friend too, y'know," she said joyfully, making me smile a bit.

"Thanks, Han. I'm doing great, actually. Emily and I have already… run into each other. We're working things out," I mumbled.

"Working things out? What does that mean, you guys are back together or something?" I could hear her smiling through the phone as she said it.

"No, of course we're not! This is the first time in three years that I've seen her, and there's still so many questions. Besides, we have to get back to the friend stage first before we jump back in…"

"But you _do_ want to get back with her at some point, don't you?" I smiled because I knew she was right.

"I mean, eventually…" Hanna chuckled on the other end.

"I knew it. And by the way, Ali? Emily means what she says. You have every reason not to believe her. Hell, if I was in your position, I wouldn't even look in her direction. But I've been talking to her almost every day for the past three years and I know for a fact that she still loves you," she said, the butterflies in my stomach coming to life. "Oh, and by the way, we need to meet for coffee! I'm on my way to Rosewood right now to stay with Emily while she's in town, just to keep her company and catch up. The five of us need to get coffee! I miss my A gang." I laughed at the reference.

"Yeah, I'd love that. Emily's visiting her mom right now, but I'm going to talk to her later. Want me to pass on a message?" There was a moment of silence on Hanna's end.

"Yeah okay, maybe you can answer this then… I can't get a hold of her to save my life. What is _really_ going on between you two?" I started laughing.

"No, nothing, she just smashed her phone yesterday. I guess her and Paige got in a fight or something, I don't really know. I just saw the glass spread across her yard. Anyway, she is supposed to be getting a new phone today, so I'll have her call you," I said, smiling again.

"That makes sense. To be entirely honest, I don't think Emily ever wanted to get back with Paige. After she left, I'm pretty sure she just needed a wall between her and her real feelings, so she brought Paige back into her life. I'm glad you two are getting along, I want Emison back," Hanna said with a laugh. My brow furrowed in confusion.

"Emison…?" I questioned.

"Yeah, your couple name! Not gonna lie, when you two started dating, me and the girls used it behind your backs all the time," she chuckled.

"Don't rush things, Han. Of course I want her back in my life, but I don't want to rush things, okay?" Her moment of silence was a good sign this time.

"Yeah, I get it. Still, we need to get the girls back together, I want to _finally_ put this break up behind us," she said lightly. I laughed.

"I almost feel bad for making everyone split up," I said, finally going to sit on the couch in my pajamas.

"Hey, everyone is on your side here, even me. This is all Emily's doing, and trust me, she knows that. Anyway, I gotta run, but I'll be in Rosewood tomorrow. Have Em call me!" And with that, she hung up the phone.

I smiled, setting my phone back on the charger. Everything felt like it was finally falling into place. Just as I was about to take my hand off of the phone, it buzzed with a text.

 _Hey Ali, it's Emily. There were some complications at the hospital… can I stay with you?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey all! I'm sooo sorry for the delay! I kind of lost my motivation for the story, but recently found that passion again! I've been writing a ton of chapters so I can post almost daily. I hope you guys keep reading this, I have a few fun twists planned and can't wait to continue the story!**

 **Chapter 8**

 **Emily**

"You can go see her now," the kind woman at the desk said. She gave me a reassuring smile as I got up from my seat, pointing me in the right direction. I felt like I was going to throw up right there on the porcelain tile floor, my stomach tied up in knots. I didn't want to see my mother like this… I wanted my strong, lively mother who kept me going after my father died and always knew exactly what to say when I was making dumb decisions. I wanted my comforting mother who held me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I didn't want to remember her as weak and incapable of simple tasks.

When I opened to the door to her room, it took every ounce of strength in my body to stay standing. Before me lay my mother, connected to so many IV's and tubes it looked as if she was more medicine than human. Her eyes were closed and the monitor was beeping at a seemingly normal rate, but when the door snapped shut, I saw her eyes open and the beeping start going faster. I put a smile on my face as I sat down at her bedside and took her hand in my own.

"Hi, Mom… I've missed you so much," I started, trying to keep my words steady and slow. "I uh… I heard Alison came to visit… that was nice, wasn't it?"

After I left Alison, my mom was more angry at me than she was pitiful, and I understood why. She loved Alison like a daughter, and even when she tried to convince me to come back and fix things, I didn't listen. My mother crinkled her eyes as if to smile and gave my hand a light squeeze, bringing me back to the present.

"Mom, I… I'm so sorry… I should never have left and I…" I couldn't get my words right, my sentences coming out in pieces. A silent tear rolled down my cheek. "I should have come home to visit you more, I should have fixed things sooner, I should have-" She squeezed my hand tighter this time, looking at me intently as she tried to speak.

"E-e-e-emi-l-ly… I f-f-f-forg-i-i-ve y-y-you…" She forced the words out of her mouth, relaxing back into the bed as she finished. The pain she was going through was too much to bear.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Mom?" I watched her carefully, trying to find a response. She simply smiled up at me, moving her head side to side as if she was shaking it "no". All I could do was nod my head and sit there beside her, talking to keep her company.

"Well, I guess I'll tell you what's been going on in my life… coaching at Stanford has been amazing. I mean, it's my dream job. I just wish it was closer to home so I could keep the job and visit more. In other news, I have been seeing Paige again…" A look of confusion and disappointment crossed her face, making me smile a bit.

"Yes Mom, I know, Alison is so much better for me… which is why I'm going to break up with Paige. I just… when I ran away from my problems three years ago, I wanted to put up a barrier between me and my feelings about Rosewood, so I threw Paige right in the middle. Horrible, right?" I saw her smile a bit, knowing she was glad I was there talking to her.

"Yeah, so I'm going to stick around Rosewood for a while, maybe look for a new job, I'm not entirely sure yet. All I know for sure is that I will be here with you every second I can be… I love you, Mom," I said, trying hard to keep my voice from cracking and the tears from falling. It was my turn to be strong for her.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes and I watched her close her eyes slowly, glad she would be able to get some peaceful sleep tonight. I held her hand until her breathing slowed, but when I got up to leave, something changed. The beeping on the monitor was speeding up and I saw my mother start to shake.

"Doctor! We need a doctor in here! Help!" I called, my voice trembling as I ran out into the hall and waved my arms. The shaking became more violent now, the beeps getting faster and faster. I whipped my head between the hallway and my mother, still shouting. "Someone, help! She's convulsing!"

I heard doctors start to rush down the hall, their footsteps making loud slapping sounds as they ran to my mother's room. Two males pushed past me into the room, one tall and lanky and one short and built, grabbing onto my mother's shoulders, trying to hold her down.

"This looks like a seizure," the tall one said.

"She's a brain tumor patient, just had a stroke two days ago that left her with brain damage. We were unable to remove the tumor due to how extensive it was," the second doctor said. I stood in the doorway, unable to breath.

"I need more morphine in her system to try and sedate her. If we don't get this under control she might flat line," the taller man said, moving to add more liquid to her IV. I was flustered, trying to figure out what they were saying.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need you to clear the room," the short doctor said, clearly talking to me. I was too anxious to respond.

"I-I… w-w-what is…" I tried to understand what was happening but I couldn't even get a full sentence out.

"Ma'am, I know this is hard to watch, and we will explain it all as soon as we can, but please, for your mother's safety, you need to wait outside." The taller doctor had his hand on my arm now, escorting me out of the room and into the hallway. As soon as we stepped out, he let go and rushed back in, closing the door behind him.

I was breathing so hard I had to put my hands on my knees, trying to slow down my heart rate. What was happening? I had seen my mother for fifteen minutes and I might be about to lose her.

The nurse I spoke to earlier came over to me, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, why don't you come over and sit? I have some information about your mom and I'm sure you would like to hear it," she said, her voice kind and endearing. I followed her out to the waiting room and sat beside her, using the armrests to stabilize myself.

"It's Emily, right?"

"Yeah…" I replied, my voice weak and tight.

"I'm Iris," she said, smiling at me warmly. "The first thing you need to know is that what happened in there is not your fault. Do you understand? That was just unlucky timing," she pressed, her hand resting on my arm in a comforting yet professional manner. I could tell she had done this many times despite how young she looked. I nodded, motioning for her to continue.

"Your mother experienced a seizure, which is common in post-stroke patients. However, what makes this more complicated is the tumor in her brain. Because of this tumor, your mother has gone into a coma, meaning her brain is not responding at all." I was looking at the floor, my hands gripping the armrests to avoid shaking uncontrollably.

"Stay with me, Emily, I know this is hard to hear… I have to warn you, your mother is not likely to come out of this coma. From what we have gathered, this tumor is only going to grow, and now that her brain isn't active, it will grow much faster. She may only have a few days left… I'm so sorry, I know how hard this is," she said, her hand still resting on my arm. Tears were coming at a steady rate now, and I couldn't even begin to think of the words to say, so I just nodded to let her know I heard her.

"Is there someone you can call, maybe a friend who lives close by? You shouldn't be alone right now. We are going to work to keep your mother stable for the next few hours, but we can't promise anything past twelve hours. I know this is a lot to process… again, is there someone I can call for you?" I just stared at the ground, reaching up to my face to wipe away the flood of tears on my cheeks.

"I-I c-c-can d-d-d-do it… t-t-thanks…" I said with a trembling voice, pulling out my phone and immediately typing in Alison's number. I didn't want to call her in this state, so I sent her a simple text.

 _Hey Ali, it's Emily. There were some complications at the hospital… can I stay with you?_

I turned the phone off as soon as I was done, surprised to find the nurse still sitting there.

"I'm f-f-fine… y-y-you can g-go back t-t-to w-work…" I stammered, looking at her this time.

"Alright ma'am… but I will be right at the desk if you need me. Please, let me know if you need _anything_ ," she said, her voice sincere and soft. I smiled weakly at her, hoping she knew how much I appreciated her right now. She nodded as she returned to her desk, my phone buzzing in my pocket.

 _Yeah, is everything okay? Do you want me to come get you?_

With shaking hands, I typed a vague response, knowing I needed to talk to her in person.

 _Can you come to the hospital? I'll be here for a few more hours and the doctors don't think I should be alone… I know we still have a lot to catch up on but Hanna's not here yet and I don't have anyone else to call. Please?_

I felt horrible for having to drag her into this mess, but I was utterly alone in the world. With Hanna still not in town and my relationship with Paige on the rocks, I didn't have anyone to turn to… except Alison. She replied quickly.

 _Of course Em, you don't need to explain. I'll be there in ten._

I sighed with relief, sliding my phone back into my pocket and leaning my head back against the chair. I closed my eyes, trying to hold back tears. Just as I felt myself starting to calm down, everything went black.

 **Alison**

I jumped of the couch as soon as I got her text, rushing to put on some sort of normal clothes. I settled for jeans and a t-shirt, throwing them on quickly and sliding on my tennis shoes. I ran frantically around the house looking for my keys, not being able to remember where I had left them. Because of the crazy couple of days I had, I couldn't even remember the last time I sat in my car. After running around my house in circles, I found them sitting in the bottom of a drawer in my kitchen. It had been too long. I had to get to her.

As soon as I found my keys I rushed to the garage and pulled the car out into the street, closing the garage door before speeding down the road. My Ford Fusion hummed softly as it accelerated, squeaking as I flew around the turns. While I knew everything was moving faster than I had planned, it felt so normal to be rushing to Emily's side. During her breakdown after I miscarried the twins, it became routine for me to rush home from work at a moment's notice.

 _The final bell rang as I closed "Great Expectations," the book I was teaching to my sophomore class. The irony was not lost on me, considering Pip really did get Estella in the end._

" _Well, make sure to finish Chapter 4 for tomorrow. We'll continue our discussion on Pip's relationships with the other characters in the novel," I announced to the class, beginning to pack up my things. When I was finally able to check my phone, I saw two missed calls from Emily and six missed calls from Spencer, along with a slew of text messages from her boyfriend Toby. I called Spencer as I rushed out of the building. She picked up just as I was throwing my bag into the passenger seat._

" _Alison, thank god," she began. "Emily is having a full-blown meltdown. I mean, there's stuff broken all over the yard and she won't stop screaming." Tears stung the back of my eyes as I imagined my beautiful fiance trashing our home._

" _What… what did she break?" I stammered, thinking about all the picture frames and old decorations my mom had stored in the attic._

" _It's hard to tell. I tried to calm her down but she just kept going… it looks like picture frames, some lamps, maybe a few things from the nursery? I really tried to stop her, Ali, but she threatened to hurt me if I didn't leave… I'm outside the house right now but I'm scared for her." There was a knot in my stomach. Emily had only threatened two people in her life… Sara Harvey and Jenna Marshall, two people who had, at one time or another, been involved in A's murderous plots._

" _I… I'm on my way home now… is she still going?"_

" _I don't think so… the house got quiet right before you called. I'll wait for you outside but I think it's best if you go in alone," Spencer stated, the tremor in her voice evident. None of us could have predicted that Emily would be the one to break._

" _Ok, thanks Spence," I replied, ending the call before she could hear me crying. Emily had always been the strong one, and I knew I couldn't show my emotions around her at a time when she felt so weak._

 _I rolled up to the house and stopped my car, sprinting out to meet Spencer. I didn't stop to exchange pleasantries, I simply nodded in her direction and continued towards the front door. The door was slightly ajar, small pieces of glass scattered in the grass and a ceramic lamp trashed on the porch. I flew inside, scanning the room. It looked in tact, for the most part, but the nursery was a mess, just as Spencer had said. Sitting on the floor in a ball was Emily, her hair fallen in front of her face. I rushed to her side, putting my hand on her back as I pulled her to my chest._

" _Hey, it's okay, I'm here..." I said, wrapping my arms around her. It had been the first time in weeks she had let me hold her, and I had missed her scent. The moment didn't last long. A few minutes later I felt her pulling away, trying to collect herself._

" _Ali, I-I'm s-s-sorry… I j-j-just d-didn't want to l-look at their r-room anymore…" she stammered, her voice caught in her throat. It hurt me to see her like this, more than she would ever know._

" _It's alright, Em, really… just come to bed, we can take a nice long nap," I said, reaching out to grab her hand. She wavered, looking at my hand and then at my eyes. She finally took my hand, reluctantly, and I lead her upstairs. I barely had time to change before she was dragging me down and curling up into my side, her shoulders still shaking as she cried. I let her sleep for who knows how long, but when she woke up, she was back to shutting me out again. That was the last time she had let me in before she walked out._

Tears were streaming heavily down my face by the time I got to the hospital, but I knew this was one of those times I needed to be strong. So I wiped my face on my sleeve and parked the car quickly, getting out and rushing inside. I already knew that Emily would be on floor three, and to save time, I took the stairs.

I arrived at the waiting room, looking around quickly before finally spotting that long, dark hair spilling over her knees. She had pulled her knees to her chest and was curled up in a ball in one of the chairs, and I could tell she was crying. As I walked closer, it became more evident, her shoulders shaking violently even though no sound came out. I knelt down in front of her, putting my hands on my knees.

"Hey, Em… come on, let's go somewhere more private, okay? I'll talk to that nurse up there and figure out someplace for us to go, you just wait here for me," I said in the softest voice possible. She hadn't raised her head to look at me once, so I stood and headed for the front desk.

"Hi… I was wondering if you had a private room somewhere that we could sit in?" I motioned back to Emily, who she seemed to recognize. She nodded, her face seeming to drop at the sight of Emily.

"Y-yes, it's just down the hall to your left… second door on the right. It should be labeled… and uh, let me know if there is anything I can do, alright?" She looked sincere, her eyes darting between me and Emily. I simply nodded and rushed back over to Emily. I reached for her chin, lifting it up slowly.

"It's gonna be okay, come on babe…" My eyes widened at my use of the word so easily, but I acted as if it didn't happen, considering Emily was in no position to notice. I stood up and reached for her, looping my arm through hers and nearly dragging her to the private room recommended by the nurse.

I opened the door to a nice living-room type space, with a couch, chair, table, and television. I pulled Emily to the couch and sat down, immediately bringing her to my side and wrapping my arms around her. She didn't protest, wrapping her arms around my waist and tucking her head into my shoulder, her sobs audible now. I kept my left arm around her shoulders, using my right hand to stroke her hair.

"Shhh, it's okay, I'm right here with you, everything's gonna be just fine…" I wasn't convinced by my own words, but I said them nonetheless, doing anything I could to calm her down.

It broke me, seeing her like this, but all I could do was sit here and hold her. She continued to cry, slowly quieting down to a silent, steady stream of tears. She clung to me with such a desperation that it made my heart ache, my eyes brimming with tears just at the sight of the woman I loved falling apart all over again. After about 10 minutes of her holding so tight to my side, she looked up at me, her eyes puffy and read.

"I… t-thank y-y-you for b-being here…" she was still shaking, her arms still around my waist. I smiled at her, my hand still running through her hair.

"Of course I'm here, Em… I would never let you go through this alone, you should know that by now." She shook her head, her eyes trained on the floor.

"She's gonna die, Ali… she had a seizure, she's in a coma, and then she's gone." Tears were falling silently on her face, and I held her tighter, taking my hand from her hair so I could wrap both arms around her shoulders. "I had three years I could have spent with her, and now I only get three hours… if I would have never left-" I stop her mid sentence.

"Emily, stop, you didn't cause this. Sickness, death… they're horrible things, but you didn't know this would happen three years ago, and you surely didn't know it would end like this when you came back to Rosewood." I stopped talking, looking down at her and trying to figure out what she was thinking. Before I could truly figure her out, she leaned up and kissed me. It wasn't like the when she first got here, timid and scared. This time, it was passionate, sad, and desperate. I didn't push her away this time, instead I kissed her back, my hands getting tangled in her hair. We stayed like that for a few moments, her hands cupping my face like they always did, until I pulled away, just looking into her eyes. She didn't say a word, just cuddling back into my side, where we stayed until she was stable enough to see her mother one last time.


	9. Chapter 9

**I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for sticking with me, for continuing to read this fanfic, and for being so positive and supportive in the comments. I think this is my most dramatic chapter yet, and it's only the beginning of a very long and windy road. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 9**

 **Emily**

I was gripping her hand so hard that my knuckles had turned white, the fear in the pit of my stomach causing me to shake uncontrollably. There were a lot of things about this moment that I had yet to wrap my head around. First of all, this was the last time I would see my mother. Pam had been my rock for so long… she constantly loved me, took steps to understand and accept me, and never gave up on me. I couldn't say I did the same for her… I would never be able to repay her, never give her the grandchildren she deserved, and never get those three years back. But the second thing, it was oddly good. Alison. She was here, with me, and clearly still had feelings for me. I knew it wouldn't be like this forever, but her presence was calming.

Standing outside my mother's room once more, Iris, the nurse from earlier, approached us. I still held Alison's hand in a death grip, but she didn't complain.

"Emily, can I speak to you alone?" The nurse asked, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her scrubs. I squeezed Ali's hand, shaking my head before responding.

"No, it's alright, she can stay… w-what is it?" I couldn't keep my voice from slightly trembling, but Ali squeezed my hand back, trying to calm me down. Iris nodded before continuing.

"Because this coma is… terminal… we will give you as much time as we can, but cannot guarantee anything. We also wanted your permission to take her off the oxygen and IV's when you are finished… this will let her pass in the most calm and painless way possible." She paused, looking between the two of us. Alison had dropped my hand and instead wrapped her arm around my waist, trying to hold me up. While I felt like I was going to faint, I still nodded for her to continue.

"I want you to know, at this stage, your mother can still hear you… whatever you choose to say, she can hear and process, but she cannot move, respond, or even open her eyes. We predict you will have, at most, 2 hours." Iris looked at us once again, and then sighed. "I'm so very sorry for this. We did everything we could, and this tragedy should not have happened to such a young, bright woman. Let me know if you need anything," she said, placing her hand on my shoulder briefly before heading back to her desk.

Alison was holding up the majority of my weight when we finally stepped back into my mother's hospital room. There was only one chair in the room, so Ali dragged it next to the bed and motioned for me to sit. I fell into the cushy seat, and Alison stood behind me, her hands resting on my shoulders.

"H-hey, Mom… it's Emily. Alison is here too, which I'm sure you're happy about." I tried to laugh lightly, hoping to make these last words count. "You know, I'm sure you're wishing you could give me a big 'I told you so' about this whole Alison thing…" I looked up at Ali, smiling at her, and she just rolled her eyes, laughing a little bit. "I know you were so disappointed when I left, and I wish I could take all of it back. I wish I stayed and gave you all the things you deserved… grandchildren, a wedding, Sunday night dinners as a family…" I started to get emotional, tears starting to fall down my face. "Mom I owe you the whole world, and I wasted three years running away from my fears instead of embracing them like you would have. I mean, you were _terrified_ when I came out, but you didn't run… you stayed, you loved me, and you learned to accept me." Alison ran her hands through my hair as she heard my voice start wavering, encouraging me to keep going. "I know you won't be able to be here for it, but I'm going to live out the life you always wanted for me. You'll be watching it, all of it, and I'll talk to you every day." I sniffled back tears, trying to keep my voice steady. "I feel like it's so late to be saying this, but I love you, I'll always love you, and I will never stop trying to make you proud." I held my mom's hand in mine, the lifeless feeling shaking me to the core, but I held on, not ready to let her go.

"Hi Pam… it's me, Alison. I need you to know, you were the mother I always needed, and when I was falling apart, you were there for me. I love you so much, and I will always consider you my mom." Alison's words were short and sweet, but she placed her hand on top of mine. I could see the tears in her eyes, and it wasn't until this moment that I realized just how much Alison loved my family.

"Mom, you remember the first time we had Ali over for dinner when she got back? It was your not so secretive way of seeing if I still had feelings for her."

"Yeah Pam, it was pretty obvious what you were doing, so I made sure to be on my best behavior... especially considering Hanna was acting like a total idiot," she mumbled the last part, Alison's genuine laugh echoing through the room.

"I liked to think I was good at hiding my feelings for the first few years, before I came out." I was more so talking to Alison now, but it felt nice, the three of us together. Even if only two of us could speak, I know this is what my mother would want: old memories and stories rather than a pity party.

"Oh shut up Em, you were not, at least not from me anyway. You literally kissed me in the library!"

"You were reading a passage about love and-" Alison cut me off, reciting the passage as if not a single day had passed.

"'I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.'" She smiled at me as she finished the line, a slight blush appearing on her face. My mouth dropped to the floor at her memory, my whole body feeling as if it had been lit on fire.

"Y-yeah… that was it," I stuttered, not sure what to say. She kept her eyes trained on me, my heart beating so fast I felt that it would explode out of my chest at any moment. I cleared my throat before turning my attention back to my mom.

"I remember when you shielded me from that car, back in the 'A' days… Mom, you are so fearless… that's something I want to be, too. I want to be fearless, passionate, caring, and understanding, just like you." I was trembling, but I had a confidence in my voice that I didn't think I would. Alison put her hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly.

"Pam, I think everyone needs to be more like you. I never told you this, but when Emily and I started getting serious about our future, I was excited about us, but I also couldn't wait to have a true mother in my life. We all know Jessica DiLaurentis wasn't the greatest role model, and having you in my life really makes me want to be a better person." I turned my head to look at Ali, and I could see the tears in her eyes. I could feel myself falling in love with her all over again.

"Mom, we're gonna be right here, okay? We love you so much, we'll always love you," I said. And that's exactly what we did. We stayed there with her, telling old stories until the doctors started to walk back in. They motioned for me to step outside briefly.

"Ma'am, her vitals are going down significantly. It would be in her best interest to take her off oxygen now," the doctor stated matter-of-factly, as if my precious mother was nothing more than a piece of meat to him. Nonetheless, I nodded, feeling defeated. I didn't want to cause her any more pain, and knew the doctors were right.

We headed back into her room and Ali took my hand, squeezing it lightly. I used my free hand to stroke my mother's hair lightly, mumbling to her.

"We love you so much, I love you more than you'll ever know, I will make you proud Mom, I promise." And just like that, the beeping turned into one continuous tone and the line went flat.

 **Alison**

Emily was a mess. We stayed in that room in silence for a few moments before she broke out into a hysteria, the nurses and doctors having to drag her out. I was crying, too, my eyes puffy and red, my vision blurry. The doctors set her in the private room and I stumbled in after her, wrapping my arms around her. In that moment, everything else was gone. The hurt, the regret, the doubt… I didn't care. I wanted her to feel loved, to not feel alone in the world.

With my arms around her shoulders, I shuffled us towards the elevator, her sobbing turning into hyperventilating. I was afraid she was going to pass out, so I rushed towards my car, pulling her with me. I pushed her into the passenger seat and latched her seatbelt before getting in and starting the car. She had stopped crying and was now trying to catch her breath, gasping for air. I whipped my car around corners, flying down the straight roads, my head spinning.

What could I do? Nothing could take away this pain… I knew it and so did Emily. She was silent now, not looking anywhere but out the window. I reached over and held out my hand, expecting her to ignore it, but she placed her trembling hand in mine. She looked at me with so much sadness in her eyes it made me shiver. I tried to smile but I knew it wasn't out of happiness.

We made it back to my house around 9 P.M and neither of us had spoken a word. I was worried. I didn't know if she would push me away like last time or cling to me like I was the only remedy to her pain. In either case, I had no idea what to do.

I have never been the person to come to for advice or comfort. I've been told I'm cold, calculating, manipulative, and heartless. But with Emily, it's always been different. She made me want to be different, be better than I ever could be. Even if we never spoke after this moment, I owed it to her to take care of her. She made me a better person, and while she destroyed me when she left, I still wanted to help her in any way I could.

I opened the car door for her and helped her into the house. She had yet to say a word. I had my arm wrapped firmly around her waist and pulled her to my old childhood bedroom. Because I missed two of my teenage years, I left the room untouched. I let her go once we entered the room, and she stumbled a bit before sitting down on the bed, running her hand along the Eiffel Tower sheets. I stood in front of her, turning towards the door.

"I'll leave you here to think, but I'll be right downstairs if you need _anything_ , okay?" A look of concern clouded my features as I spoke, watching her closely. She nodded, her voice scratchy as she tried to speak.

"O-okay… Ali? I love you," she said, her eyes wide. I blushed, shaking my head to hide my smile.

"I've always loved you, Em. Now get some rest, you need it." I hurried out of the room before I did anything I'd regret, closing the door softly. I waited outside for a few moments, but only heard the quiet squeak of the bed and then silence. Once I was sure she wasn't having a mental breakdown, I went downstairs.

x-x-x-x

I jolted awake, the TV still on in front of me. I sat up on the couch, the sound of a phone ringing somewhere in the house making my head pound. I stood up, rushing around to find the source of my headache. I found a brand new phone sitting on the counter, and immediately realized who's it was. Paige's contact lit up the screen, and impulsively, I answered it.

"Paige, hey, it's not a great time…"

"Alison? Why do you have Em's phone?" I sighed, sitting down at the bar and wishing I had never picked up the call.

"She's asleep, we had an emotional day. I'll have her call you when she wakes up, okay?" Paige was silent for a moment before answering, anger clear in her voice.

"She doesn't need to call me, I was actually going to let her know I'm in Rosewood, staying until she's ready to come back to California. I know this time is going to be hard-" I cut her off, feeling like my head was going to explode.

"Paige, it's not my place to tell you anything, but you need to talk to her, a lot has happened in the past 24 hours."

"I know I need to talk to her, Alison, that's why I'm calling. Besides, why are you even with her? She told me she was staying at her mom's house." Now it was my turn to be silent as I tried to pick my words carefully.

"Hanna still isn't in town so she's staying with me. She didn't want to be alone and I wasn't going to just throw her out on the streets… Paige, nothing is happening. She's just had the worst three days of her life, okay?" I knew my sentences were choppy, and all I could do was hope she didn't hear my nerves through the phone.

"How the hell is Hanna not in town yet? It's been three days!" Paige was screaming now, so much so that I had to pull the phone away from my ear.

"I don't know Paige. Just-" I was quickly interrupted, Paige's voice clipped and tense.

"Forget it, Alison. I know what you're doing, and trust me, I'm not going to let you take my girlfriend away from me… again. I'll be there in 20 minutes to pick Emily up." With that, Paige hung up the phone. As I set down the phone, I saw Emily standing on the stairs, looking at me with a look of disappointment in her eyes.

"E-Emily… hey, how are you feeling?" She rolled her eyes a bit as she came to sit at the bar, her eyes still trained on me.

"Why were you using my phone to talk to _Paige_?" Emily spat, her words sharp.

"She called and I didn't want to wake you… I just thought-" Once again, I was interrupted midsentence.

"You thought what, huh? That you could try and fix things between me and Paige? That you could just step right into my business and make an even bigger mess without me noticing? I keep forgetting just how good you are at manipulating." Emily's eyes hadn't left mine since she sat down, and I couldn't help but hold back tears.

"No, that's not what I was doing! I told her nothing was going on, that you just needed a friend, and she took it the wrong way!" I was pleading with her now, which made no sense. I didn't do anything wrong, and after all, why should I care? Emily is the one that should be walking on thin ice. Suddenly, something in my snapped, and I realized that I didn't want to do this all over again.

"You know what, forget it. You come into _my_ house after leaving me for Paige, and when I try to _take care_ of you, I'm accused of being manipulative. I'm not playing games with you, I'm not chasing after you, and I'm certainly not waiting around for you. I'm done, Emily. And don't worry, Paige was just calling to let you know that she's in town. Oh, and she's picking you up in 20 minutes." I stood up, pushed in my bar stool, and stormed upstairs. While I expected Emily to stay downstairs and wait for Paige, it wasn't long after I reached the top of the stairs that I heard her bounding after me. I made my way into my old room and tried to shut the door but Emily was too fast, squeezing herself in as I slammed the door shut.

"Just go downstairs and wait for your girlfriend," I said, sitting on my bed and looking out the window, my back to her. A few moments of silence passed before I turned to look at her.

She was leaning against the closed door, her arms crossed on her chest and her eyes locked on me. I opened my mouth to speak once more but before I could get another word out she shot forward and crashed her lips against mine. It took me a second to get my bearings and push her off of me.

"What the hell?" I said, jumping off the bed and backing away from her.

"Well, that's how _you_ always used to fix things between us," she murmured, sarcasm laced in her words like venom.

"We're not fifteen anymore, Emily! You left _for three years_ and then jumped right back into my life expecting everything to go back to the way it was! It doesn't work like that." I was crying now, silent tears trailing down my cheeks. I stood my ground, my whole body tense as I watched her drop on the bed in defeat. With her shoulders slumped and her eyes trained on the floor, she mumbled a response.

"I came back because I need you. I've always needed you, Alison. I'm sorry for assuming that you wanted to mess things up for me and Paige, really… I think part of me wanted to push you out again and thought that was the easiest thing to believe. But I can't do it, I can't just pretend that I'm happy without you, because I'm not. I'm still in love with you and I will be for the _rest of my life._ " I sat down beside her because I couldn't stop myself, sighing.

We sat there for a few minutes, not touching or speaking, and just as I was starting to get up, Emily grabbed my hips and pulled me down on top of her. I locked eyes with her, trying so hard to stop, to get up and walk out the door, but when she kissed me everything melted away. I kissed her back instantly, rolling onto my side and tangling my hands in her hair. She was still holding my hips, our lips moving in sync as if no time had passed. Our bodies were tangled together, and just as Emily was going to take off my shirt, the doorbell rang.


End file.
